Life with Roy and Ethilen Compton
I have tried to explain "living with autism" the best way I can. There really is no explanation I could give you, simply because autism presents itself in so many different ways. As stated before, I am an honest person and when I write this blog, it is only for the benefit of others. I show no mercy when it comes to bigotry, hate, bias, or racism. Autism doesn't choose a family or person. I have witnessed Alzheimer's disease on a daily basis and this illness can resemble autism in some ways. My granddaddy, Roy Compton, had Alzheimer's disease and passed away at the age of 86 from this horrible illness. I named Cole after him (his middle name is Roy), so you could say Cole is like him in so many ways. As I reminisce about my granddaddy, who was the GREATEST MAN to influence my life (no dig to you daddy!), he was a loving, kind, giving, and Godly man. Granddaddy Roy didn't see color, race, or hate. He gave so much to me and my brother that the only right thing to do was to give back to my granddaddy when he was sick. My granddaddy hung the moon. I secretly wished I could have lived with my maternal grandparents, Ethilen and Roy Compton, simply because they gave us so much! My mom (these are her parents) told them one day, "If you keep giving them so much, how will Shawn and Erika know a value from a dollar?" We were their only grand kids, so they literally spoiled us. That being said, we always respected them, because of the time they gave us. I could dig a hole and fill it back up with dirt, simply because I was taught the value of hard work. Nanny and Granddaddy taught us to respect all people, work hard, and you will reap what God gives you: eternal life, which is the best gift. We went to the same church, they attended all of our extra-curricular activities, let us hang out with them at our farm in Lake Tawokoni, vacationed every summer to Galveston, TX, and even took us on a two week vacation every year with my parents! I could go on and on about my grandparents, as they were the greatest people I ever knew, but you get the idea about my love for Nanny and Granddaddy. That is why it is so hard for me to write this next entry: living with Alzheimer's and Autism.
Cole was diagnosed at the age of six with autism. My granddaddy was diagnosed with Alzheimer's at age 85. A person could not be diagnosed officially with Alzheimer's until they died. We knew something was not right with my granddaddy when he told us one day, "Who is that woman?". That woman was his wife of nearly 54 years, Ethilen Compton. Granddaddy had bad hearing, so at first we thought it was a joke. Unfortunately, it wasn't a joke. My mom took my granddaddy to see his doctor (who was a phenomenal doctor), and he unofficially diagnosed him as having beginning stages of Alzheimer's. I was devastated, simply because I didn't know what was going to happen next. My granddaddy lasted a year with this terrible illness, and it is one illness I do not wish upon anybody.
The reason I am comparing Alzheimer's to Autism is simply because I have lived with both of these illnesses. Nanny Comp (this is what we called her) didn't want to put Granddaddy in a nursing home, simply because she thought she could take care of him. This was not the case. Granddaddy's Alzheimer's hit fast and hard. Within three months of his "diagnosis", he turned into a person I did not know. He was a very loving and giving man, but Alzheimer's turned him into a person I didn't know. He knew me and my mom, but as far as other family members, he would get frustrated and cry. I would sing to him and that would calm him down, when he would have one of his fits. I never knew my singing would be a comfort to him, but we both cherished these moments. Little did I know, ten years after his death, I would be singing "Amazing Grace" at my grandmother's bedside in the same nursing home. She went to be with The Lord ten years after her husband's death. To this day, I am forever grateful for the friendships we made at C.C. Young Memorial Nursing home. There were so many special people (and some not so special) that came into our lives who helped us with Granddaddy, when he suffered with Alzheimer's. I was devastated when my Granddaddy died, but was so relieved to know he wouldn't be suffering with Alzheimer's anymore. Roy Compton was the man who loved me until the day he died. His unconditional love and support of me and my family lives on through his amazing grandson, Cole Roy.
You are probably wondering, "Why in the world am I comparing Alzheimer's to Autism?". I visited my Granddaddy everyday (even before he had Alzheimer's), so he was a big part of my life. I always believed his illness taught me compassion and understanding for what life had in store for me: raising a child with autism. Cole is not violent, but he can have your typical meltdown of a two year old! Try explaining to the average person out in public, why your 5'7", 200 pound, 12 year old son is having a meltdown. The one thing I learned from illness is that you face it head on, without taking crap from anybody-- including family members. Autism is a mystery that I just can't figure out. My son is brilliant, just like his granddaddy Roy was, but his brain is wired differently than most. He can tell you in German "Ich Liebe Dich" (I love you), but if you ask him to tie his shoes, you are going to lose! The way the brain works is fascinating! Cole can become very frustrated with me, simply because he doesn't want to transition into the next chore or task I want him to do. Cole's daddy (my awesome and amazing husband!) takes the approach of "tickle monster". This game has turned into a normal routine in our house, simply because Cole loves the tickle monster! When I need Cole to take a shower, the tickle monster can appear at a moment's notice. You are thinking by now (just assuming) what in the world does a tickle monster have to do with routines? One day, Cole came out with "tickle monster" instead of cookie monster. This set off a huge laugh from me, my husband, and Cole! We took after Cole and started tickling him under his chin and under his arms. This game has paid off tremendously, to say the least. He asks for the tickle monster and before you know it, the tickle monster appears! In all honesty, I don't know how my husband comes up with these ideas, but he does. This is why I love my husband to infinity, simply because he knows what Cole needs. He is a wonderful father and husband and I seriously don't know what I did to deserve such an incredible man in my life. I credit my granddaddy for giving me the outlook to look for a man like him-- funny, witty, cute, a great smile, but most of all, the trait of unconditional love.
I am attending an autism conference tomorrow, so hopefully I can help you out with some new information! I write this post today, in honor of my Granddaddy Roy Compton. He would have been 106 years old today. He was, and always will be, my hero. I love and miss you Granddaddy!
No comments:
Post a Comment