Memories

Memories

     

     I have great memories from my childhood, but the ones that I cherish the most are those of my maternal grandparents, Nanny and Granddaddy.  Cole never knew my granddaddy, but I always knew if I was going to have a son, I was going to name him Roy.  Cole's middle name is Roy and I know Granddaddy would be so proud of him.  I am blessed, because my grandparents were incredible people.  My granddaddy Roy would have been 107 today, if Alzheimer's had not robbed him at the age of 86.  I think of my granddaddy every day and miss him, but I do not miss the terrible illness that robbed him of his dignity.  I am comforted by my memories and feel he is still with me every day.  My granddaddy's illness taught me so much about life.  
     Alzheimer's is a disease that I don't wish on my worst enemy, but I am thankful to have had the time with him and the knowledge that I gained from helping take care of him during this time.  I didn't think in a million years Alzheimer's would prepare me for motherhood, but it did.  Alzheimer's and autism are both neurological disorders, but are two different beasts.  The similarities between autism and Alzheimer's disease are striking, simply because if you see one kid with autism, you see one kid with autism.  I feel the exact same way about people who have Alzheimer's-- you see one person living with Alzheimer's disease, you see one person living with Alzheimer's disease.  When we put Granddaddy in a nursing home, a floor specifically dedicated to people living with Alzheimer's, there were 60 rooms on this floor.  I would say on any given day, each conversation would be one in the same that I had with each person I met.  I came to love "Silly" Sybil Simmons, "Coach" Miller, and Howard Portwood.  These people were brilliant, but were robbed of their minds because of the terrible illness, Alzheimer's disease.  My granddaddy was a very sweet, kind, and loving man, but when Alzheimer's ravaged his mind, he was not the same person.  He was belligerent, mean, cussed us out, and didn't know his wife of 64 years.  My mom and I were the only ones that could help relieve the stress, pain, and anger he was feeling.  He was incredibly strong for his size and even carried a wheelchair on his back while strapped in!  The only reason I compare Alzheimer's to autism is because I have lived and experienced both diseases as a caretaker and loved one.  The time I spent singing to my granddaddy helped me realize how much I needed that comfort during this difficult time.
     Cole is now 13 years old and I really don't know where the time has gone.  He met Nanny Comp. (Granddaddy Roy's wife) and he still talks about her.  Cole never met Roy, but I guess you could say in a sense he knows him because of my memories.  I tell Cole about our times at our farm and how Nanny and Granddaddy taught me to shell peas, grow a garden, and how to play baseball.  Cole loves it when I talk to him about Granddaddy because they have the same name!  Cole wants to know why he never met Granddaddy, because he met Nanny.  My exact words are, "Cole, you didn't meet Granddaddy physically, but he will always be in your heart.".  I don't have the courage to tell him how he died, but hopefully one of these days I will have enough strength to tell Cole why he died.  I am not a proponent of explaining death, but I don't think it should be sugar-coated.
     I am okay today, but ten years ago, I was still a mess mentally.  I miss both of my grandparents, but with age comes wisdom.  I understand why they both died and love the fact that they were the most incredible grandparents in the world!  However, I do miss being able to pick up the phone and hear their voice.  They both inspired me to do great things with my life, but the most important lesson I learned from them was unconditional love.  I love Cole, even if he's having a meltdown, due to his autism.  My grandparents loved me and my family unconditionally and because of Roy and Ethilen Compton, I am a better mom, wife, daughter, and teacher.  They showed me how to love God with all my heart, and because of this love for Him, my life couldn't get any better!  I see so much happening for me and for Cole because we love life and all that it has to offer.  Thank you, Nanny and Granddaddy, for always giving me those memories to hold onto.  Happy 107th birthday Granddaddy!

Experiences in Middle School

Experiences in Middle School

     I have come to the conclusion that most people do not realize the time and energy I put into my son's education and home life.  The other day somebody asked me, "Are you the substitute in this class or the teacher?".  I automatically assume the role of teacher and mom, because that's what I do on a daily basis for Cole.  I feel, at times, I am the only one looking out for Cole, in terms of receiving a stellar education.  I still keep in contact with many of Cole's former teachers, simply because they have a true interest in what he is doing and accomplishing in and out of the classroom.  However, I am relentless each and every day that Cole, along with his other classmates, graduates from high school with a diploma and not some stupid "certificate of completion".  Call me crazy, but if a student attends school for 13 years (or more if they have been in the PPCD program), they deserve the right to graduate with their peers without a "certificate of completion".  I have come to loathe the state of Texas with their idiotic ideas about what is required to graduate from high school with a true high school diploma and not a G.E.D. or certificate of completion.  The state of Texas finally did something right with House Bill 5.  The passing of HB 5 gives EACH student a high school diploma, even if they don't pass the STAAR.

     I am not pleased with education in Texas.  Our lawmakers send their kids to private schools to receive a top notch education, so why are the lawmakers deciding our public education's future?  I am going to fight the STAAR until it is eradicated or each school district decides to opt out, because it doesn't allow teachers to teach.  I attended great public schools in Dallas I.S.D. and I had incredible teachers.  Why should our kids suffer because of this irrational test?  I will tell you why:  the lawmakers make a TON OF MONEY by giving Pearson a contract worth $138 million dollars, in return for votes.  I plan to turn Texas upside down by challenging these senators and representatives to get rid of the STAAR.  There are so many school districts who would do so much better, if they didn't have to "teach" to the STAAR.  As a former music teacher in the public school system, I saw firsthand how I was supposed to tutor 6th grade math-- to the test.  I believe I received an incredible public education, because my teachers were not limited by any one test.  In the 1980's and 1990's we had testing (T.E.A.M.S. and I think the TAAS), but I don't remember my teachers "teaching" to these tests.  I remember going on field trips and learning about finance at a bank, attending the opera and symphony and soaking up incredible knowledge about Mozart, Beethoven, and Puccini (my favorite composer), and participating in creative writing competitions, math olympiads, and spelling bees.  These activities gave me an educational compass to follow, and a realm of endless possibilities to dream more, do more, and explore ideas of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

     I am disgusted, and mostly disappointed in our education system.  We have brilliant students in Texas and in our school district, but teachers are limited because of the STAAR and administrators who do not understand (or want to) why teachers need support.  I am sad to report that it has only gotten worse than better, with regards to education in Texas.  I have questioned my sanity, at times, because I love to teach, but do not love being told how I am supposed to teach.  I feel if teachers are given the needed support to help students in the classroom, our kids will flourish and thrive outside of the classroom.  I have seen first hand students receive incredible support from teachers, but because of resources (money) and central administration breathing down our necks, we are failing our students.  I am saddened by our education system, because it needs to be fixed.  

     I see how education can be beneficial to everyone, but if we are limited in our thinking (STAAR), our students suffer.  I know I would have never been accepted into SMU, in particular Meadows School of the Arts, if I had been limited in my thinking.  The Meadows Foundation just gave Meadows School of the Arts the largest gift in history ($45 million), and I know it is because they see the potential in our future.  I wish public education in Texas would understand this concept of "thinking outside the box", because it does happen in the private school setting.  I benefited from thinking outside the box while a student at Woodrow Wilson High School, because I had teachers and a Principal that understood I wanted to learn.  I appreciate those teachers and one Principal in particular who pushed me to think outside the box.  The support and incredible resources I was given as student is what I expect for my son and those who are in the contained special education classroom.  

     Our teachers are tired, have no motivation to teach because they are tied up with paperwork, and have no support from central administration.  I pray each and every day for Cole and his peers to receive the type of education I received:  no bias, teaching children to the fullest extent, and encouraging those around them to lift them up to see their self worth and value.  Middle school is hard.  I hated middle school, but because of that one amazing teacher and coach, it is the area I see myself most drawn to.  Coach Armelia King made that difference in my life.  I now realize I can make a difference in student's lives.  However, I also know that if there is no support at school or home, students suffer because of that lack of support.  Administration (I am talking about Assistant Superintendents and our Superintendent of R.I.S.D. when I speak about Administration) needs to find qualified teachers, those teachers need to implement that I.E.P. to the fullest extent, and administration needs to realize that our teachers need support.  I hope to make that difference one day as an administrator in special education.  I will fight for my son's right to have an incredible education, but ALL parents and families need to fight for their kids.  The only way to get something done is to start a movement.  Who is with me to fight this STAAR and get rid of the small minded thinking?  Support your student, fight for what's right, and we can and will make a difference!