Memories
I have great memories from my childhood, but the ones that I cherish the most are those of my maternal grandparents, Nanny and Granddaddy. Cole never knew my granddaddy, but I always knew if I was going to have a son, I was going to name him Roy. Cole's middle name is Roy and I know Granddaddy would be so proud of him. I am blessed, because my grandparents were incredible people. My granddaddy Roy would have been 107 today, if Alzheimer's had not robbed him at the age of 86. I think of my granddaddy every day and miss him, but I do not miss the terrible illness that robbed him of his dignity. I am comforted by my memories and feel he is still with me every day. My granddaddy's illness taught me so much about life.
Alzheimer's is a disease that I don't wish on my worst enemy, but I am thankful to have had the time with him and the knowledge that I gained from helping take care of him during this time. I didn't think in a million years Alzheimer's would prepare me for motherhood, but it did. Alzheimer's and autism are both neurological disorders, but are two different beasts. The similarities between autism and Alzheimer's disease are striking, simply because if you see one kid with autism, you see one kid with autism. I feel the exact same way about people who have Alzheimer's-- you see one person living with Alzheimer's disease, you see one person living with Alzheimer's disease. When we put Granddaddy in a nursing home, a floor specifically dedicated to people living with Alzheimer's, there were 60 rooms on this floor. I would say on any given day, each conversation would be one in the same that I had with each person I met. I came to love "Silly" Sybil Simmons, "Coach" Miller, and Howard Portwood. These people were brilliant, but were robbed of their minds because of the terrible illness, Alzheimer's disease. My granddaddy was a very sweet, kind, and loving man, but when Alzheimer's ravaged his mind, he was not the same person. He was belligerent, mean, cussed us out, and didn't know his wife of 64 years. My mom and I were the only ones that could help relieve the stress, pain, and anger he was feeling. He was incredibly strong for his size and even carried a wheelchair on his back while strapped in! The only reason I compare Alzheimer's to autism is because I have lived and experienced both diseases as a caretaker and loved one. The time I spent singing to my granddaddy helped me realize how much I needed that comfort during this difficult time.
Cole is now 13 years old and I really don't know where the time has gone. He met Nanny Comp. (Granddaddy Roy's wife) and he still talks about her. Cole never met Roy, but I guess you could say in a sense he knows him because of my memories. I tell Cole about our times at our farm and how Nanny and Granddaddy taught me to shell peas, grow a garden, and how to play baseball. Cole loves it when I talk to him about Granddaddy because they have the same name! Cole wants to know why he never met Granddaddy, because he met Nanny. My exact words are, "Cole, you didn't meet Granddaddy physically, but he will always be in your heart.". I don't have the courage to tell him how he died, but hopefully one of these days I will have enough strength to tell Cole why he died. I am not a proponent of explaining death, but I don't think it should be sugar-coated.
I am okay today, but ten years ago, I was still a mess mentally. I miss both of my grandparents, but with age comes wisdom. I understand why they both died and love the fact that they were the most incredible grandparents in the world! However, I do miss being able to pick up the phone and hear their voice. They both inspired me to do great things with my life, but the most important lesson I learned from them was unconditional love. I love Cole, even if he's having a meltdown, due to his autism. My grandparents loved me and my family unconditionally and because of Roy and Ethilen Compton, I am a better mom, wife, daughter, and teacher. They showed me how to love God with all my heart, and because of this love for Him, my life couldn't get any better! I see so much happening for me and for Cole because we love life and all that it has to offer. Thank you, Nanny and Granddaddy, for always giving me those memories to hold onto. Happy 107th birthday Granddaddy!
Alzheimer's is a disease that I don't wish on my worst enemy, but I am thankful to have had the time with him and the knowledge that I gained from helping take care of him during this time. I didn't think in a million years Alzheimer's would prepare me for motherhood, but it did. Alzheimer's and autism are both neurological disorders, but are two different beasts. The similarities between autism and Alzheimer's disease are striking, simply because if you see one kid with autism, you see one kid with autism. I feel the exact same way about people who have Alzheimer's-- you see one person living with Alzheimer's disease, you see one person living with Alzheimer's disease. When we put Granddaddy in a nursing home, a floor specifically dedicated to people living with Alzheimer's, there were 60 rooms on this floor. I would say on any given day, each conversation would be one in the same that I had with each person I met. I came to love "Silly" Sybil Simmons, "Coach" Miller, and Howard Portwood. These people were brilliant, but were robbed of their minds because of the terrible illness, Alzheimer's disease. My granddaddy was a very sweet, kind, and loving man, but when Alzheimer's ravaged his mind, he was not the same person. He was belligerent, mean, cussed us out, and didn't know his wife of 64 years. My mom and I were the only ones that could help relieve the stress, pain, and anger he was feeling. He was incredibly strong for his size and even carried a wheelchair on his back while strapped in! The only reason I compare Alzheimer's to autism is because I have lived and experienced both diseases as a caretaker and loved one. The time I spent singing to my granddaddy helped me realize how much I needed that comfort during this difficult time.
Cole is now 13 years old and I really don't know where the time has gone. He met Nanny Comp. (Granddaddy Roy's wife) and he still talks about her. Cole never met Roy, but I guess you could say in a sense he knows him because of my memories. I tell Cole about our times at our farm and how Nanny and Granddaddy taught me to shell peas, grow a garden, and how to play baseball. Cole loves it when I talk to him about Granddaddy because they have the same name! Cole wants to know why he never met Granddaddy, because he met Nanny. My exact words are, "Cole, you didn't meet Granddaddy physically, but he will always be in your heart.". I don't have the courage to tell him how he died, but hopefully one of these days I will have enough strength to tell Cole why he died. I am not a proponent of explaining death, but I don't think it should be sugar-coated.
I am okay today, but ten years ago, I was still a mess mentally. I miss both of my grandparents, but with age comes wisdom. I understand why they both died and love the fact that they were the most incredible grandparents in the world! However, I do miss being able to pick up the phone and hear their voice. They both inspired me to do great things with my life, but the most important lesson I learned from them was unconditional love. I love Cole, even if he's having a meltdown, due to his autism. My grandparents loved me and my family unconditionally and because of Roy and Ethilen Compton, I am a better mom, wife, daughter, and teacher. They showed me how to love God with all my heart, and because of this love for Him, my life couldn't get any better! I see so much happening for me and for Cole because we love life and all that it has to offer. Thank you, Nanny and Granddaddy, for always giving me those memories to hold onto. Happy 107th birthday Granddaddy!
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