Middle School and Transitions
I have learned a lot about my awesome son in the past thirteen years. The reason I say thirteen is I count my pregnancy as nine months of Cole's life. Cole has been my number one inspiration for writing this blog, because he is truly the most amazing person I have ever known (besides my indispensable husband)! Cole inspires me to let go when I need to cut that mom apron string. Cole is now in middle school, and whether I like it or not, he is growing up. I thought autism would always be a deterrent for Cole to be completely independent, but as I am quickly finding out, Cole is going to do what he wants to do, independently, without me. Does this make me sad? Not one bit! I feel like gaining his independence early in life is only going to help him achieve his dream of becoming a professional worker bee in the current world we live in. Do I dream of a day that I want my son to go to college, have a girlfriend, and marry the woman of his dreams? Absolutely. However, I do have that minimal fear that Cole is not going to grow up as other people would expect him to be. I always have that little voice in the back of my head, saying, "Erika, you know Cole is always going to live with you until he dies. Autism is just that way." That voice is slowly being hushed, simply because I want my son to have the same life every other kid has-- friends, sleepovers, dates, and dances. Life is changing and I am adapting to this reality. My son is growing up into an amazing young man, and his progress is simply incredible. I may be one of those moms that tries too hard to give my son a "normal" life, but if I don't let go of my insecurities, he is not going to benefit from what all life has to offer.
I encouraged Cole to attend his first middle school dance last Friday and really didn't give him an option to not go! The minute I received that first PTA email that said there was going to be a dance the second week of school, I marked the date on every single calendar in our house! I was always pretty excited about going to dances when I was in middle school and high school, so I thought my enthusiasm would trickle over to Cole. He slowly warmed up to the idea about it, and before I knew it, he bought his ticket the first day (maybe because I was the first person to be selling them at his school) to attend his dance. Little did I know, was I in for a big surprise! He wanted to take a date. Thank goodness, after getting confirmation from others, this was a group dance-- no dates. Cole is quite the lady's man-- no joke. He loves girls, he loves his friends, but most of all, he loves his social calendar. We are beyond blessed that all of his best friends (minus one that I was able to get into the dance) all attend the same junior high. They have been constant friends since first grade and I don't know what I would do without these friends for Cole. Not only do they look out for Cole, they include him in EVERYTHING. He loves his boys, but most of all, he loves life. I wish I could store up his energy and use it for myself, simply because Cole is full of happy, positive energy. Fast forward to the night of the dance and of course, Cole is the first one in the middle of the dance floor, with his friends surrounding him in a circle hollering, "Go Cole!". Does this make me happy? Beyond words.
I wish I could say Cole made these friends all by himself without my help, but because of the generous nature of music (hence, the Jambox Boys are Cole's best friends), he has this life. I listened to Cole, asked him what he wanted, and he said I want a Jersey Boys Band and I am going to be the lead singer. This truly amazing gift Cole has is literally an angelic voice, courtesy of Frankie Valli. I owe the musical, "Jersey Boys", a huge thank you for finding my son. Cole's love of music, singing, and performing is something that I have not taught him. He doesn't want me to sing, much less teach him HIS songs! However, I am finding out, he will listen to me when I become the choir teacher. He watches, observes, mimics a lot, and talks when he's not supposed to talk, but only four years ago, this was not a reality. Talking slowly came, courtesy of "Jersey Boys." I have nothing more to say than music is a powerful tool to reach so many people in this world. Cole was barely eight years old when he finally started to talk. I will never forget that day and I am grateful for YouTube, music, and the "Jersey Boys.". I would have never guessed in a million years music was going to be Cole's breakthrough. I had trained as an opera singer with the best-- Joan Tallis, Kathleen Terbek, John De Haan, Martha Gherhardt, and the incredible Barbara Hill-Moore. I don't think I could have possibly imagined them telling me I could have done anything different in terms of Cole's training. He is truly a gift from God and I am thankful each and every day for music.
I wish I could say Cole made these friends all by himself without my help, but because of the generous nature of music (hence, the Jambox Boys are Cole's best friends), he has this life. I listened to Cole, asked him what he wanted, and he said I want a Jersey Boys Band and I am going to be the lead singer. This truly amazing gift Cole has is literally an angelic voice, courtesy of Frankie Valli. I owe the musical, "Jersey Boys", a huge thank you for finding my son. Cole's love of music, singing, and performing is something that I have not taught him. He doesn't want me to sing, much less teach him HIS songs! However, I am finding out, he will listen to me when I become the choir teacher. He watches, observes, mimics a lot, and talks when he's not supposed to talk, but only four years ago, this was not a reality. Talking slowly came, courtesy of "Jersey Boys." I have nothing more to say than music is a powerful tool to reach so many people in this world. Cole was barely eight years old when he finally started to talk. I will never forget that day and I am grateful for YouTube, music, and the "Jersey Boys.". I would have never guessed in a million years music was going to be Cole's breakthrough. I had trained as an opera singer with the best-- Joan Tallis, Kathleen Terbek, John De Haan, Martha Gherhardt, and the incredible Barbara Hill-Moore. I don't think I could have possibly imagined them telling me I could have done anything different in terms of Cole's training. He is truly a gift from God and I am thankful each and every day for music.
I will write more later, but my son, who is growing into an amazing young man will turn thirteen years old in November. Do I feel old? Sometimes I do. I am 40 years old, happy with my life, and beyond happy my son has an amazing school, amazing principals, and fabulous teachers. We didn't have a great principal last year; however, this year, Cole is going to reach for the stars simply because Principal Bennett, Assistant Principal Bert, and Assistant Principal McClennan, are helping Cole feel happy, safe, and secure. Thank you Forest Meadow Junior High School for saving my son, giving him awesome opportunities to grow and mature, and for giving him a safe home. This is why I am so happy-- happy life = happy child. Thank you, God, for all you have given us!
