April 2nd: Living with Autism
I have never seen so much love in one day, Thursday, April 2nd, for Cole. Many people don't realize that every year on April 2nd, autism is recognized as a national awareness day. I was humbled and honored to be the first chair of our school's Autism Awareness day, but mostly, I was happy to see that our school embraces all students who have autism. We are having a fundraiser the entire month of April that will benefit the Autism Treatment Center in Dallas. I spoke to the group of teachers who donated to our fundraiser (all proceeds are going to the Autism Treatment Center of Dallas), and they were extremely supportive of helping in any way. I am also incredibly blessed to have a Principal that "gets it". Cole's Principal, Kerri Jones, was the main reason (along with an idea from me) we had our first Autism Awareness Day on Thursday. Also, Panera Bread was beyond gracious to donate two gift certificates for the teachers at Cole's school. There will be a drawing for Unfortunately, we still have a long way to go to educate the general population about autism. This blog post is written today for all families that live with autism every day. We live with autism every day and it can be quite stressful on any given day; however, if you surround yourself with friends and family that are supportive and love you, it makes living with autism bearable. I am one of the luckiest moms, because I have an incredible support system. My husband is my rock, but without that foundation from my parents and my incredible in-laws, I could have sunk into a deep depression, like some people do. I am thankful every day for God, my faith, but most of all, an incredible husband and father who loves us. I know if it wasn't for my faith, I would have never found a voice for me and for Cole. I thank God every day for our blessings and giving me the knowledge to seek out help not just for Cole, but for me as well.
I have always loved to sing, but I was totally caught off-guard yesterday while attending Good Friday services at our church. I had stepped out to use the bathroom, and when I returned, I sat behind Jason Garrett (the current Dallas Cowboys Head Coach) and his wife. I had no idea they were sitting two rows in front of me, because I wasn't feeling good. I apparently was singing my heart out, and didn't realize I was singing so loud (I can guarantee you Cole would have told me to stop singing if he had been there!). My mom was sitting with me, so Jason Garrett thought it was my mom singing. After services were over, Jason Garrett told my mom she had a beautiful voice and really enjoyed her singing. If you know my mom, she will tell you she can't sing. I am being nice here, but my mom has quite an "unusual voice". She laughed when Jason Garrett told her he loved her singing, because she knew he was talking about me. I was in shock when Jason Garrett told me I had a beautiful voice and that he really enjoyed my singing. He grabbed my arm and wanted to hug me, so I just went with it. I can't say I didn't enjoy that hug, but he asked me a number of questions about music and singing. I went into my nerd mode and told him I went to SMU and studied with Barbara Hill-Moore. I didn't know if he was interested, but I told him about our amazing program at SMU. I also told him that I thought I was done with singing, because I was Cole's mom and a very active autism advocate. I felt called to tell Mr. Garrett and his lovely wife about Cole and how living with autism changed our lives.
Jason Garrett literally had a line of people wanting to talk to him, but he made them wait, because he wanted to know more about us-- Cole and me. I found myself in awe of him, because he took the time to say thank you. I told him that I have applied to SMU for the Master's program in Education, with an emphasis in Special Education. Jason Garrett gets it. He talked it up with me for about 5 minutes and wanted to know if Cole liked football. I told him Cole likes the countdown clock at any football game, but the actual game doesn't interest him. I told him my husband and I love football (but basketball is really my first love), and appreciated all he has done for the Dallas Cowboys. I think he was shocked by my knowledge about the game, but I am still in a state of awe because he is one of the nicest people I have ever met. My question to all families who don't live with autism: If Jason Garrett and his wife can sympathize with me and want to know more about autism, why can't everyone be understanding? I am guessing it will take a lifetime to educate our world about living with autism.
I had no idea twenty years ago I would be an autism advocate, simply because I wanted to be a professional singer. I also knew I wanted to be a wife and a mom. I never wavered about being a mom, but what so many people can't comprehend is my commitment to Cole and educating people about autism. Autism is not a disease you can "catch". Autism is a very complex neurological (translation: brain) disorder that is different in each individual. I have always stated if you see one person with autism, you have seen one person with autism. This spectrum disorder does not have a cure, but because of awareness, we may find that missing link. Many diseases have that missing link, like fragile X syndrome and down's syndrome, but scientists and doctors haven't figured out what causes autism. I have firmly stood my ground that I don't believe vaccines cause autism, but I also think there are many unknown factors that cause autism. I don't know what causes autism, but I do know that because of funding, research, and programs out there to support people living with autism, we are better equipped to tackle the future.
I am a better mom and wife because of my friends and the support Cole has received from school and other support groups outside school. Our school district is not great, but as Cole's mom, I advocate for him every single day. I feel sorry for families that don't have that support system in place or a school that is not supportive. Recently, I have received three emails regarding a specific child who attends school in RISD (not by the family or lawyer) and does not have adequate learning conditions at his school. I say to this mom and her son: DON'T GIVE UP. KEEP FIGHTING. I am saddened by this situation, but because of his mom's fighting spirit, her tenacity to seek the best education for her son, and the resources that are available to her, she eventually will win her case. I wish Tennille and Devon all the best, and if there is anything I can do to help, do not hesitate to contact me.
