Life Happens: make lemonade out of lemons!

Life Happens:  Make Lemonade out of Lemons!

I love my life-- don't get me wrong, I can get down at times and take it out on the ones I love the most, but overall, I have a great life!  I have always tried to be a positive person and live my life to the fullest, so I think this is why Cole is not your typical kid living with autism.  The hardest part of autism is telling Cole no.  I am a pushover when it comes to parenting him, simply because I want him to have everything in life.  That being said, I have had to learn how to say no in a loving way, because if my tone of voice sounds forceful or in the slightest way mean, he will have a meltdown.  Meltdowns in our house have become few, simply because I have tried to do my best by communicating my needs with Cole.  The next section will address how to overcome meltdowns and outbursts, while at home and out in public!

I am truly grateful for Allison Ausema, Cole's former elementary D.P. teacher.  Acronyms will become normal, as I write this blog-- D.P. stands for Developmental Program, also known as special education.  Mrs. Allison gave me a card one day while Cole was leaving school and told me I could use it over summer break.  This little tool-- it was a laminated flip card with different emotions and tasks-- has been my savior since third grade.  We were at Walt Disney World one year (Cole was in fourth grade), and a meltdown started, because "Bear in the Big Blue House" had been replaced by "Jake and the Neverland Pirates".  Alright, you are thinking, this kid is ten years old and he is upset over a show that has changed?  Let me tell you, that flip card was my protection against crazy parents, because Cole has always been a big kid-- the biggest and tallest in his class every year.  I didn't want to freak the other kids out (the show was catered to pre-schoolers), so as we passed each parent, I showed them this flip card and tried to explain to them my son has autism and was very upset they had changed the line-up.  Once I calmed Cole down, which took half the time it normally did in the past, all was well in our world.  

I feel really sorry for parents who teach their kids selfishness.  Empathy has always been my number one priority when teaching Cole and his friends about life.  Cole can become outright mean at times (now it's the hormones), but if you can find a way to combat a meltdown, in the end it will help not only the person having it, but others around you too.  I think the best advice I can give you is realize your kid is different, which is a great thing!, but be prepared when a meltdown happens.  We have come so far from major meltdowns (think throwing up, flailing yourself on the floor), simply because of thinking ahead and preparing for what will happen next.  In our case, that little flip card has been our God-send!

I will write another post later, but it's time for church!  We try not to miss church, because Cole has a special needs Sunday School class that is just wonderful.  Have a safe and happy week and I will write more later!  One last thing, you probably wonder what the flip card looks like.  On each laminated card, there is a face that shows angry, happy, sad, and excited.  There are also simple, basic tasks, such as washing hands, going to the bathroom, and waiting in line.  These simple tasks and emotions  help all of us, but especially Cole.  I will write more and find the website to make one of your own, simply because I think this is an invaluable tool to have for ANY child!