Autism and Growing Up
My life changed when I heard the phrase, "Your son has autism." I had so many emotions going through my head and my heart, as I had done some research about autism. What was I going to do with this diagnosis? Was I going to hole up in my room and cry? I initially cried when I first received the diagnosis about Cole, simply because I was relieved I wasn't crazy. I thought in my head for some strange reason that I had caused this beautiful boy not to speak or talk, because of my pregnancy and labor. As a parent and now autism advocate, I realize that my life as a mom and teacher became my mission to provide a safe haven for ALL students living with autism. I went back to SMU to receive my degree in Music Education for two reasons: I needed to finish my degree to give me the piece of mind that I could accomplish this very hard feat, but also to learn about students with disabilities. I attended the groundbreaking of the Annette Simmons School of Education and I knew in my heart, I was suppose to go back to SMU when I did. I had learned so much from music-- could I learn from this amazing school of education that was literally in my back door? I took two education classes-- one as an elective, and it opened my eyes to something far greater than I could have imagined. Special education was not really addressed as a class at Simmons School of Education. I took an educational psychology class, thinking it could help (which it did), but the professor only addressed special education in two of my classes. I kept asking for more literature, but I had to get my information basically on my own.
Looking back, I knew far greater about I.E.P.'s and ARD's than my professor (who was only two years older than me, but already had her Doctorate in Education). My main concern was the lack of information about Special Education in the state of Texas. Cole was in the first grade when I started back to school, so I had really only been versed in Special Education lingo for a year and a half. Returning to SMU helped me realize that I was smart, I could help my son beyond the classroom, and that he was brilliant. I had to find a way for him to channel all of his brilliant charm and mind into speaking.
I realize now that Cole was talking to me the entire time, but I just didn't listen to him. The only words he said were, "10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 happy new year 2006!". At times, I would get so frustrated with his countdown that I would have to leave the room. Cole was, and still is, obsessed with the New Year's Eve ball drop in Times Square that he has memorized scripts, days, the exact time a performer is going to sing, when the ball drops, and who pushes the button every year. I changed my attitude towards his ball drop, simply because he was saying something. I kept searching for ways to communicate with him, but nothing mattered to him but Dick Clark, New Year's Rockin' Eve featuring Ryan Seacrest and Fergie until 2009. 2009 is when it all changed: my son started to speak to me and not at me about Dick Clark and Ryan Seacrest. Everything Cole had obsessed about was New Year's Eve. By this time, Cole had been to New York (where the famous ball drop occurs every year) five times-- literally, I tried everything to get him to talk! Cole had found a website through earthcam that listed the events, time of everything that was happening on New Year's Eve, and he looked me in the eyes and said, "Mom. Look at me. This is New Year's Rockin' Eve and I want to push the button with Mayor Michael Bloomberg on New Year's Eve at 10:59 p.m. Central Standard time.". I was blown away-- he told me to look at him! I was in shock and jumping for joy because I tried for so long for him to look me in the eyes. I can still remember that day: December 31st, 2009, at 10:58 p.m. (Dallas time). New Year's Eve has become, and always will be, our favorite holiday because of this breakthrough I had with my son.
I have come to love Cole's countdown now, as he loves the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade (5-4-3-2-1 let's have a parade!) and the New Year's Eve ball drop. He is my son, he is perfect in my eyes, and if people think we are funny, it's because they haven't walked in our shoes. We were in San Antonio, TX, recently for my annual T.M.E.A. convention (think 20,000 musicians and music teachers in one place) and something amazing happened. Cole and I were walking across the street from one hotel to the other, and I noticed Cole doing the countdown again (he does it a lot!). I asked him, "what are you doing Cole? It's not New Year's Eve!". All he did was point to the traffic light. There was a voice that was counting down with the traffic light (simulated in the light!), so Cole joined in! By the time we had made it across the street to the convention center, EVERYBODY was doing Cole's countdown! Little did they know that Happy New Year was about to commence after the count down! Happy New Year 2014!
My life, as I have re-iterated, has not always been sunshine and smiley faces. We have faced so much together as a family, that I can truly say I would not be in the place that I am today without the love and support of so many people. I credit God for giving me my amazing husband (our biggest fan and supporter throughout this journey we call life), but also I couldn't have gotten to the point in my life without my brother, his kids and amazing wife Jen, my parents, my in-laws, and my cousins, Kim and Doug. I don't know if I was supposed to list names, but I truly am blessed beyond measure!
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
No comments:
Post a Comment