A New Year = New Schedule of Classes and Change

A New Year = New Classes and Change

     I am not one to procrastinate when it comes to getting things done and checked off the list!  However, I was slowed down in December because I got sick with pneumonia (right before Christmas!) and my "perfectionist" ways made me realize that I am not God.  I have had pneumonia for nearly a month and I started to freak out about the recovery time it takes to get completely well.  I stayed in, didn't celebrate Christmas with my family on Christmas day, but what I came to realize is that I have an incredible family that loves me-- sick or well.  My problem I was having is that I really wanted to finish my Power Point presentation and hand-out for my workshop before the new year.  I didn't get my work done because of my health, so now I am putting on the finishing touches of this huge project.  Life threw me a curve ball as I was not expecting to come down with pneumonia before Christmas, but it made me stop and reflect on my life.  I am only one person, Cole only has one mom, and my husband is my rock.  I have the most amazing life and I feel that God was telling me to slow down.  I am beyond busy trying to figure out what is best for Cole, in terms of education, future employment, what he will do after he graduates from high school, and if he decides to get married.  The reason I state these things is because when you are a mom to a child that has autism or a child with special needs, your worry doubles.  I worry that when I die or when my husband (his amazing dad!) dies, how is Cole going to handle it?  He asks us all the time about when we are going to die.  Cole quotes exact dates of people he has loved when they died.  For example, Cole may have never met them, like Robin Williams, Dick Clark, or Don Pardo, but he truly loved these people.  He is obsessed with dates, so I chalk this up to his incredible memory and his "autism".  I have this incredible kid, who happens to have autism, but as a parent, you always wonder "what if".  I always look ahead to the future, as we never know what each day brings.  I feel planning, preparation, and a lot of prayer goes into having a great life.  I know if I don't prepare and plan, then prayer helps me realize that I need to!

     By now, if you have read all of my blog posts, you will realize how much I love my son and my husband.  Cole has, and always, will be my world.  I have an incredible partner and husband that supports me and Cole in anything that we want to do in life!  Cole's dad and my husband is one of those rare people that gets me and Cole.  He loves us unconditionally and gives us anything and everything we need.  I could write poems, sonnets, songs (which I have), and a book about how my husband loves us.  You never know what life is going to give you, but I am thankful every single day for this man.  The reason I am gushing about my husband and Cole's dad is because he has stood by me, pushed me to where I am today, and knows exactly what I need.  My husband has given me wings to fly, which in return, has given Cole the ability to go out there and seize the  moment.  I couldn't have done my Power Point or workshop without having the right partner and husband supporting me.  He encourages me and Cole to do our best, to love life, but most of all, he has given us a feeling of security.  I love my parents, but having a mate that supports me in everything I do is paramount to how I feel:  I feel I can conquer the world because of the love of my husband!  He has given me and our son, Cole, a home that is full of unconditional love and support.  My parents gave us love and support and I am forever grateful for their support, but having a husband that "gets it" makes life that much better for me and for Cole.

     I know I titled this post:  A New Year = New Schedule of Classes and Change.  Cole loves school because he has amazing teachers, an incredible staff, and wonderful friends.  However, if I didn't fight for his education, he would be just a statistic.  He has the same DJP (Developmental Junior High Program) teacher for English, Math, Social Studies, and Science, but he has a new class this semester, which is working out great!  This class is a human services (think sewing, travel, cooking....) class and he loves it, simply because he has three friends in his class.  He also said the teacher is "hot".  Yep, he's a lady's man for sure!  I told Cole it's a good thing her husband works at his school, so he can watch out for boys like Cole!  I did have words with the counselor (she is lazy, as I have found out from various sources), simply because I feel Cole needs to be mainstreamed as much as possible outside of his DJP classroom.  His DJP teacher, Ms. Tamayo, is incredible!  However, I expect great things from Cole and he is getting closer to high school, so I want him to go to college.  Does this sound attainable for a kid who didn't really talk until age 8?  I think it is very attainable.  I don't give up on Cole, and he doesn't give up either.  We are blessed to have each other in life, but most of all, we are supremely blessed by my amazing husband that gives us the confidence and strength to pursue our dreams.  Have a great January and there will be much more to come from  my blog in the coming months!  Stay tuned, but for now (in Cole's words), "Happy New Year 2015!".........

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

     During the holiday and Christmas season, Cole gets really excited about two things:  Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve and watching the ball drop live in Times Square from New York.  I can say this hypothetically speaking, but when I say Cole is obsessed with the New Year's Eve Ball Drop, he is OBSESSED with this once a year phenomenon.  I am thankful for New Year's Eve, simply because this was the first thing that engaged Cole in learning.  I knew from the time Cole was two years old, he was special.  I also knew Cole was my kid and anything he did was cute, so I didn't think much of it when he would keep repeating "10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1, happy new year 2003!".  

     By the time 2004 rolled around, I knew Cole had a learning difference.  The timeline for Cole's progression and seeing how other children were progressing with speech did worry me.  What if he can't catch up in school?  How am I going to get him potty trained and talking by the time he is three?  These were the questions that I had in the back of my head that needed to be answered, but I didn't know who to turn to for help.  I asked  Cole's pediatrician at the time if he had any references for speech therapy for Cole that could help him.  I told Cole's doctor that he wasn't potty trained at his three year old well-check up, but that didn't seem to bother him.    I also told him that I feel Cole needs speech therapy.  Doctors can see many children in one day, so I don't discredit Cole's former pediatrician for not listening to me or picking up on Cole's differences.  However, I knew once Cole was officially diagnosed having autism, I had to change pediatricians.  This was the best decision I made for Cole, me, and my husband.  Cole had the best private speech therapist from kindergarten until sixth grade named Pat Minter, who I credit with giving Cole a voice.  Ms. Pat worked so hard every week with Cole that by the time Cole reached sixth grade, you would never know he had a speech diffiency.  

      I did not know what autism was, but I was about to figure it out in 2005, thanks to the help of an article that was published in the magazine, Dallas Child.  I may have not known what autism was in 2005, but as we look ahead, ten years later, I consider myself an expert in this field.  I hope my blog helps you understand that people with autism are different; however, that does not make them dumb, stupid, or retarded.  I have heard people call others stupid or retarded, simply because of their ignorance towards a disability.  I really feel sorry for people that are so ignorant, simply because they can't see the good  or worth in a person who has autism, downs syndrome, or other learning/physical difference.  I have learned so much from Cole, simply because I haven't limited his thinking.  I knew when I was pregnant with Cole, he was going to be given every opportunity in school and at home to thrive in life.  I also knew that when Cole was diagnosed with autism, my world turned upside down.  The news that is given to you in a meeting telling you your kid has autism is quite an eye opener and shock.  I questioned my parenting skills and wanted to know, "why does my son have autism?.  Once the shock wore off, I knew what I had to do:  keep giving Cole the education he needed to thrive in and out of the classroom.  Cole is now in seventh grade and the life he has is something that he has worked really hard for.  Cole had a lot of help from me and his best friend, Archer, to make, establish, and keep incredible friendships with a lot of his friends, simply because I was not going to be that parent that hides her son from the world.  I credit Archer with being Cole's first very best friend, and because of this amazing and caring soul, Cole is happier than I have ever seen him.  Archer is one of those rare breeds; he loves Cole like his brother.  He would move mountains, run in front of a train for Cole, but most of all, he has always stood up for Cole.  I credit Archer's parents, Ryan and Amy, for giving Archer a strong foundation built on unconditional love, rules, and boundaries.  Because of Archer, Cole has a normal life. There are not many people that open their hearts and home to a kid with autism; I know because we have been there.  Ryan and Amy love Cole and because of them, we are better people.

     Fast forward thirteen years later, the countdown is still a staple in our house!  I love watching Cole get so excited about New Year's Eve, simply because this is his favorite holiday of all time.  Cole still does the countdown every day, whether it be at school, in the car, out in public, or at home.  This is our normal and I love our normal! We may look funny when we are walking across the street and we start to countdown from 10 to 1 in February, then end with "happy new year", but that is us.  I am forever thankful for "Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve" with your host Ryan Seacrest, simply because this was the first tool in Cole's life that helped him express his words.  Don't give up on your child; you will never know what is going on in their brain.  Sometimes a brain is just so big and full of ideas, that your child can't speak what they are thinking.  I know there are people living with autism that never speak; however, there are plenty of people that do talk who shouldn't!  Love one another, be kind to strangers, but most of all, make your life on Earth one to be remembered for the good that you do in other people's lives.  Happy New Year 2015!

2014: A Year of Reflection

2014:  A Year of Reflection

     I find myself on this journey we call life, and I can honestly say I have no regrets.  My forty years of living makes me feel, at times, like I am living in a 90 year old body, simply because I have done so much for others and not taken time out for myself to relax and rest.  I want to be so much to everyone that my crazy, hectic (yes I know I did this to myself) life just doesn't seem to slow down for one minute!  I was forced this past week to rest, due to a bout of pneumonia.  I am thankful for Christmas break, an incredible husband who does more than he should for me and Cole, but I am also keenly aware that I am not twenty years old.  I can reflect and look back at my life, and know that when I haven't slowed down, my life has caught up with me.  I was forced to slow down this past week and it made me realize that for the first time in my life I was going to die.  I have had pneumonia not once, not twice, but three times since I was 20.  Each time I have had pneumonia, it has been not bad, but REALLY BAD.  I was in depression when I was 20, but I didn't realize I was depressed.  I have been one of the very fortunate souls who have managed to find ways to cope when dealing with depression.  Depression, as we all know by Robin Williams' untimely death, does not discriminate.  I can write this blog post, simply because I have been down that lonely road we call depression.  My next few paragraphs will explain in full detail why depression hurts and where to turn to for help, when you don't feel there is a way out.

     I grew up in a very well adjusted home life.  I had two parents that adored me, a set of grandparents that would move mountains for me, and an incredible older brother that put up with my quirks.  Many people say that if you have a stable home life, you won't suffer from depression.  That is a TOTAL LIE!!!!  I had an incredible childhood that any kid could have picked and said, "Ooh, I want to be Erika.  She has everything."  I am living proof that if you have a stay-at-home mom, a dad who worked himself nearly to death to provide for his two children to have everything, your life will turn out perfect.  I am here to tell you that there is no white picket fence, even if it appears that way.  My parents made a deal early on that my mom would be a stay-at-home mom.  Looking back as an adult, I can't even imagine my mom NOT being a stay-at-home mom.  She did everything for me and my brother.  I attended dance class twice a week, gymnastics the other two days and our Fridays were always filled with either friends over at our house or just having family time together.  I truly believe these were my building blocks that formed me into becoming the great mom that I am today.  I am not bragging that I am a great mom, but I have worked extremely hard to fulfill this role as "great mom" to not just Cole, but to his friends and other students.  I loved my life growing up as a child and as a teenager and I knew when I had children, I would make them feel the exact same way about their childhood as I had:  happy, whole, and loved unconditionally.  However, once I started college, my life began to change.  

     Change is good, but when there is too much change all at once, this can be detrimental to a person who has depression.  I did not know I suffered from depression until I was in my thirties.  I was beat down so hard by my first husband that I started to believe his lies.  This is when my spiraling depression took form-- in the face of my now ex-husband.  I wanted to leave this abusive relationship, but how was I going to leave?  I had three options:  I could find an apartment on my own with Cole (who was not even 1 years old), wait it out and see if he was going to change with minimal counseling, or file for divorce.  Obviously, I chose option number three.  However, was this an easy choice for me?  No.  Divorce is not easy, especially when children are involved.  However, I am here to tell you that it is much better to be alone and happy than suffer in silence.  I knew for my sake and for Cole's life, I had to leave this abusive relationship.  Do I still have regrets from this seven year marriage?  Who's to say I won't look back when I am on my deathbed and say I am sorry to my ex-husband.  However, in this lifetime, it is never going to happen, simply because it is out of my power to say I am sorry to that jerk.  Did I grow and learn from that relationship?  Of course I did.  My first marriage taught me what to look for in a husband, lover, and great father for Cole.  I can write this blog post with sincerity knowing that if I was still married to my first husband, I may not be alive.

     I knew in my heart on September 23, 2004, my marriage was over.  This date stands out so clearly to me, simply because this was the day my Nanny Comp died.  Nanny Comp's life, legacy, and love lives on in me, Cole, my brother, his children, and my parents.  Again, I will get back to the topic of depression, but I cherish my memories of my Nanny and Granddaddy.  Nanny and Granddaddy gave me a life that wasn't about the "stuff at Christmas".  Nanny and Granddaddy were always there for me, even if it meant just coming to see me sing for three minutes at a twice yearly voice recital at Eastfield College.  I credit my mom's parents, Roy and Ethilen Compton, for giving my mom the life that I have.  They adopted my mom at the young age of two weeks old when they were 36 years old.  My grandparents were considered "old parents" back then-- 1944, but by today's standards, I think it's pretty normal.  The best decision Nanny and Granddaddy made was to adopt my mom and give her a life that she would not have had, otherwise.  I also credit my "Granny B." for giving my mom up for adoption, simply because this was the most selfless act a mom can do-- put her child's needs before her own.  Roy and Ethilen's spirit is what gets me through those dark times.  The memories I have will always comfort me when I think I can't go on any more.  I have never tried to actually commit suicide, but I can say I have called the suicide hotline number once.  I am putting this out there to let you know depression can hurt, but you can get through your darkest times.  I know because I have been there.  The phone number can be googled if you need it, but I don't want to google "Suicide Hotline" right before Christmas, simply because I am in a great place in my life!

     I also received much needed help from a school district that I was working in when I was at my lowest.  I was working twenty hour days, suffering in silence, "Why wasn't I the best choir teacher?", only to realize that I had friends at my new place of work.  I credit those friends for saving me, helping me get to a safe place in my life, and showing me that teaching isn't a job, it is a way of life.  Sarah, Christina, Carrie, Brandon, Kathleen, and Raquel, thank you for helping me get through those times at that school.  You may never know how much of an impact you had on me at that time, but I credit you for saving my life.  I would have never known about Teacher's AFT if it hadn't been for you all.  AFT was my savior and they were going to be the ones that finally helped me put together the pieces of my adult life.  I was nearly raped at my school by a middle school aged boy, simply because I was too nice of a teacher.  AFT fought for me, had my back every step of the way, and gave me a name to call if I needed to talk to anyone.  That name was Susan and she has been my go-to counselor ever since.  I can say that if Dallas I.S.D. does get one thing right, they provide help when it is much needed to their teachers.  Because of this help, I was able to move on past my prior life, talk out my demons to Susan (ex-demons = ex-husband), and move on with my life.  I was dating my now husband at the time, but I knew I was never going to get married until I addressed that skeleton in my closet-- my past.  

     I am blessed to say that because of the help I received from Susan, I no longer suffer in silence.  The best thing you can do if you suffer from depression is speak up.  Don't hold your emotions inside of you and bury it deep down within your soul, thinking it will go away.  That feeling of emptiness never leaves you until you tell someone.  I would not have the life I have today with my amazing husband and son if I had not reached out to Susan.  Yes, there are days that I do feel 90 years old simply because I do too much for others.  However, God put me on this Earth to do good.  I want to leave this world and say, yes it's a better place because I am in it. Depression is a silent killer and shouldn't be.  Robin Williams is now free of his demons and I am so glad he is finally at peace.

     We shouldn't have to lose one more amazing soul, simply because people don't know who to turn to.  Love your family, tell your friends you love them every day, because you secretly don't know what goes on behind closed doors.  That beautiful white picket fence family may be the one that needs to hear it the most:  "I love you son.  You are brave, wise, smart, and the best son I could have ever asked for."  I was one of the lucky ones who had a ton of support.  There may be other kids and adults that aren't as lucky.  Tell them you love them, give them a hug, but most of all, be that person who is there for them.  God gives us one life.  Use your life and inspire others to strive for greatness.  You never know who needs to hear, "I love you".  Merry Christmas, happy new year, and may you all have a terrific, healthy, and prosperous 2015!

Music in the Contained Special Education Classroom

Music in the Special Education Classroom

     I credit my education from SMU, Meadows School of the Arts with my ability to think quickly on my feet.  I also credit four professors from SMU that I had in particular that helped me decide I could be a great music teacher, if just given the chance.  Professor Barbara Hill-Moore, Dr. Carol Reynolds, Professor Constantina Tsoulainou "Mrs. T.", and Dr. Donna Mayer-Martin challenged me to be a better musician, human being, and educator.  They helped me thrive at Meadows and helped shape me as a musician and teacher.  Without these amazing women, I don't think I would be the kind of teacher I am today:  hard-working, over-prepared, understanding with all students, and the guts to think outside the box and implement what I want to do in terms of teaching music.  I had two professors in particular who will remain nameless that have doctorates in Music Education.  These two professors sucked.  They changed the face of Music Education at SMU and one is no longer a teacher at Meadows.  I am happy to say that because of these two women-- yes, they are women-- I knew how NOT to treat students or people.  More teachers like Professor Moore, Dr. Reynolds, Mrs. "T.", and Dr. Mayer-Martin need to be applauded for their work that lives in their students.  Unfortunately, Dr. Mayer-Martin is no longer with us, but her memory, her brash personality, and keen sense of awareness and understanding is what lives on in me and many of her former students.  The reason I write this paragraph is to thank these awesome professors who helped me decide that I wanted to teach music and be great at it.  I am not a great teacher yet, but because of them, I am learning how to be great, one day, one week, and one month at a time.

     I have been volunteering once a week in Cole's contained special education classroom since October, and I love it!  I teach over an hour worth of music.  I learned from the first week that I needed to simplify my lesson plans, as I should have known the beginning of music (Baroque period) would have totally put them to sleep.  The good thing I have learned that it is much better to be over-prepared, than under-prepared.  I have witnessed some bad teaching and what I have learned is KNOW YOUR MATERIAL.  I was flabbergasted when I attended a class at a local college recently and the professor wasn't prepared.  The professor rambled, read the material from a computer, didn't have handouts, and was completely off topic.  I learned early in life that it is always better to be over-prepared than to look like a deer with headlights staring straight back at you.  I credit my strong education early on from my teachers at Lakewood Elementary (Cynthia Bell and Lilli Grant) for preparing me to become a teacher and lover of knowledge.  I did not know that I was going to be a teacher, as I always envisioned myself as making it as a star in movies and on Broadway.  I am thankful for great teachers, as this is such a hard profession.  I now thank God every day for GREAT special education teachers, as they are the true heroes in life each and every day.  We are blessed to have a great Special Education teacher, incredible staff, and fabulous aides who give so much to their students.  I didn't think I would ever enjoy teaching, but because of Cole's teachers this year, I love teaching.

     I was given a unique opportunity to volunteer to teach music in Cole's class twice a week (actually every day!) from Cole's Special Education teacher, Ms. Tricia Tamayo.  Due to unforseen circumstances and Cole's love for his "type of music", my husband and I thought it was best for Cole not to continue on in choir after the first six weeks.  He tried choir for eight weeks and we commended him for his amazing effort.  I pushed Cole too hard into trying to like choir, but after I analyzed what he didn't like choir, it made total sense.  I know as a former middle school choir director that you have to teach songs that are basically necessary for competition-- meaning "Cantate Domino" and other songs that are not pop songs.  Cole did great (or so I thought), but he didn't like choir.  Hence, this is when God intervened and tapped me on the shoulder.  Cole's teacher asked me specifically would I like to teach music to her class during fourth period because this class, in particular, is over an hour in length.  I jumped at the chance and we started this new adventure on Halloween.  I normally would have said no to this opportunity, simply because of federal and state law that doesn't allow outsiders into a contained special education classroom, but I thought it through and said yes.  I had permission slips written up specifically granting me an opportunity to teach music in the classroom-- something that HAS to be done in the state of Texas, as to not break any laws pertaining to special education.  I don't want to get into any trouble and I sure don't want to get Cole's school or awesome Special Education staff into trouble, simply because of written federal law (Wright's Law).  I have learned how to teach music specifically to this class by understanding how Cole learns.  I watch, educate myself, and know that not one student is alike.

     When I teach music, I started off by creating a spread sheet of what I needed to do in terms of lyrics (words to music).  Once I color coded the words, for example, red =chorus, green = verse, blue = bridge, I felt like I could actually teach special education.  I failed to realize that some of these students don't know how to read.  I am still learning how to teach all students how to read and it is coming along, slowly.  Dyslexia is something that I am not familiar with, but I am slowly understanding what dyslexia is.  The students who have dyslexia show me how to write music for them (the actual notes and not words).  I have been successful by letting them write on paper before we begin class what music looks like to them.  I love their artwork and we put it up in class every week!  I feel I am reaping the rewards far greater from these students than what they are learning from me, simply because they are smart, talented, love music, and love life.  The next thing I do in terms of teaching music to this class is I let them tell me what they like to listen to.  I prepare a CD of different types of music (we have listened to and learned Haydn's Sonata 92, Michael Jackson's "Bad", Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons "Sherry, Big Girls Don't Cry, and Walk Like a Man" and many other songs from the 1950's and 1960's.  I have at least six to nine songs prepared for each class, as I don't want to run out of material.  The reward at the end of the class is like a "talent show".  Cole will perform his Jersey Boys medley and one other student likes to perform anything Michael Jackson.  We all love this part, as performing is my favorite aspect of music.  We have danced, shaked, and shimmied our way into the history books (or so I would like to think!), simply because these kids are learning about music that otherwise would not have been taught to them, simply because they are in special education.  I don't think I am doing a great job, but I am learning, implementing ways to think outside the box to teach these students about music, and I am loving this unique experience.  I am thankful for great teachers, but most of all, I am thankful to have this awesome learning experience to share with T.M.E.A. as a featured clinician in February in San Antonio.  I have always believed things happen for a reason.  This opportunity happened because I believe music should be taught in school, not just as an elective in middle or high school, but as a tool to learn about life.  I will write more in the coming months, but know I haven't forgotten about you!  I am just so happy that I am staying busy and out of trouble (last year's problems at Cole's former school).  Happy early Thanksgiving and the next time I write another post, I will officially have a teenager in my house!  Happy early 13th birthday Cole and we love you, Mom and Dad

I Am The Proudest Mom In the WORLD!!!!!!!!

I Am The Proudest Mom in the WORLD!!!!

     I am crying tears of joy for my amazing son, Cole, simply because he really is a rock star in the making!  I push him to be independent and always look for the positive, even if there are times where he isn't having a great day.  Today I found out that Cole's amazing picture that he entered in our local school district's competition, "Reflections", is moving onto the District level!  Cole has entered this program the past three years in the Special Artist category.  This category was created by the National PTA to showcase students talents, specifically through special education.  Any student who has an I.E.P. or a detailed 504 (language for special education services), qualifies them for the special artist category.  Cole's first picture he entered two years ago won and went onto State competition.  Last year, he entered the Visual Arts category and it didn't advance onto District competition (even though it was in the top 40%).  Don't give up on your child, because you may not know down the road what they are capable of doing.  I write this paragraph with such honor, respect, love, and true conviction that I could not be prouder of Cole!  He is a superstar in so many ways, but today, Cole proves himself once again to this cruel world that he is important, he contributes to society in a positive way, and loves life.  I love you Cole!

      There are so many children that don't have parents like me.  I am in no way bragging about my parenting skills or lack there of by other parents.  My husband and I agreed early on that we would co-parent and love Cole to the best of our abilities.  Sometimes, we can get frustrated with Cole, each other, but we know before we go to bed that we love God, we put Him first, and once we pray, our lives are transformed.  We have a great life and I believe it's because we pray every morning and every night together as a couple.  I know I have stated in some earlier blog posts that I have a strong faith and that I believe in God.  I don't preach to the masses, but in the end, if you don't believe in a Higher Being, you are at a loss.  I have been told many times that without blind faith, there is no reason for living.  I live by faith, my trust in God, and knowing that when I die, it will be okay because God will be waiting for me (I hope!).  There have been times in my life that I can get overwhelmed with just life, so I do yoga, exercise nearly every day, and fall on my knees in prayer when I feel like giving up.  God, as I have always said, has always been there for me, even when I questioned God.  I have questioned my faith at times, wondering if there really is a God, because I had some great professors in college challenge me and my classmates to what we believe and what we actually know about God.  I am now confident that there is a God and that he gave us His Son, Jesus, to take away our sins.  I only pray one day that when I do die, Cole will feel fulfilled and rewarded in life to continue on without me and my husband.  Cole is smart, sensitive, caring, but most of all, the most incredible human being I have ever known.  My kid is a Reflection of what can be-- living, thriving, succeeding, and loving life as a person that has autism.  Autism does NOT define Cole; Cole defines his life and the way he leads his life, simply because that's how it should be.  I don't limit Cole in his thinking, because I do truly believe he is going to be the next big hit like Jimmy Fallon and the Roots (that's what he wants to do with his life).  Cole can be a stand up comedy host, he can sing, he can dance, and he lives his life to the fullest.  Today, I say CONGRATULATIONS SON!  I couldn't be more proud of you Cole Roy!

My Health and Cole's Education

My Health and Cole's Education 

     My life as a mom never stops.  I have a brief moment to myself that I enjoy, which is yoga.  I love being a mom and a wife, but at times, it can be down-right exhausting.  I don't always have the best of health, which deters from daily living, but I try to always go about my day and enjoy every minute, even if I am in tremendous pain.  I strive to always do my best, but sometimes my best is just not good enough for even me.  If this is too personal, skip this paragraph because it's about my personal health.  I have suffered from horrendous menstrual cramps since I was 14 years old.  I had to miss days from school in high school because of this problem.  I also suffer from ovarian cysts.  I have had two surgeries to remove ovarian cysts, which is not fun.  My cramps are so bad that I can't get out of bed.  I am lucky that I can get up in the morning, make breakfast and lunch for Cole, only to get back into bed because of this problem.  I changed doctors two years ago and this was the best decision I ever made!  She is terrific.  She understands me, simply because she is a wonderful doctor and friend.  The best advice I can give you if you are a woman, see a woman gynocologist.  I still suffer from cramps, but hopefully next month will be better because I have a new pain medication (plus back on the pill).  

     The reason I am writing this next paragraph is because I need to get this out there.  Some people shouldn't be parents.  There are other couples that would make terrific parents, but were unable to conceive or had the money to adopt.  Adoption is very expensive and even if you are middle-class family, this is one option that just may not be affordable to many.  I would love to have a child with my husband, but this may not happen, due to my health and age (40).  I am fortunate that I have an incredible son and the most loving husband who adopted Cole.  Their love for one another is something that you just can't put into words.  I would love to have a baby with my husband, simply because it's the greatest gift God gives us.  However, I am extremely blessed to have a child.  So many people can't have children, which to me, is so sad.  I know three couples that would make great parents right now, but due to unforeseen life circumstances they are unable to conceive.  The best advice I can give to parents is BE A PARENT.  BE THERE FOR YOUR CHILD.  

     I have been blessed to have created the Bebop Girls and Cole Warren and the Jambox Boys out of love for Cole and music.  This phenomenon that has taken place in our house the past three years is a gift from God.  I have had over at least twenty kids at our house the past three years and I have witnessed bad behavior, insecure behavior, and good behavior.  There is one kid that is in one of the groups (I will not name them, simply because it's rude), that is downright insecure, rude, and disrespectful.  The parents on the outside look okay, but I know if you went behind closed doors, you would see something totally different.  I have put up with this child's behavior for a long time, simply because I feel he needs this group so much.  I have been on this child's case for a long time about how to behave and the others have gotten on to him as well, but I am done with the sass, attitude, and talking back.  He is gone.  I am not paid by the parents to run these groups, "Cole Warren and the Jambox Boys" or the "Bebop Girls".  I started these groups out of love for Cole and I can end them as soon as they started.  

     The "Bebop Girls" are getting really good and they are wonderful girls.  I couldn't ask for more from them!  The original girls from the group are so busy that we had to add new faces.  I didn't kick the original girls out, but we kept going, simply because they have gotten really good (and Cole loves them all)!  I am blessed by all of the girls and boys that are in the Jambox Boys and Bebop Girls, simply because I think it teaches them that different is okay. Just yesterday, we were at 7-11 (me, Cole, and 3 Bebop Girls) and out of nowhere, Cole starts a normal conversation with a dad and his two year old son, Logan.  "Hi!  My name is Cole.  What's yours?"  This is something that I have dreamed about for 12 years.  Turns out, the dad knew Cole has autism because he babysat a boy when he was a junior in high school that had autism.  His best friend has autism and they were classmates at McKinney High School.  To this day, they are still best of friends.  Life hands you lemons, so you make lemonade out of it.  Yesterday, I witnessed an amazing life event.  Cole knew what to say, how to socialize with his friends at 7-11 and Starbucks, and then headed off with confidence to my high school homecoming's football game.  Again, if you have a child on the autism spectrum, there is hope.  Don't give up!  Be that parent who goes above and beyond for your child, even if they don't have a learning difference or disability.

     My new job is exciting!  Cole was in choir at his school the first six weeks and I applaud his teacher for trying to understand him.  He started off the school year great, except in choir.  Cole's teacher and I communicated via email every week and she would give me an update as to how Cole was doing.  I decided to make a personal decision for Cole that he didn't need to be in choir.  Choir is difficult, even if you are not someone that has autism.  I now know it was the right decision because I have been given an opportunity that I was not expecting:  teaching music every week in Cole's special education class during fourth period!  Cole's special education teacher, Tricia Tamayo, is a God-send.  She asked me if I would like to teach music to her class every week, and of course I jumped at the chance!  I am a bit nervous, but I know it will be a great experience, as it will help me create a working foundation for my workshop I am presenting in February at the annual TMEA convention, "Special Education, Music, and Technology".  I hope to eventually create a curriculum based on current music, the technology that is out there for music, and make sure ALL KIDS that have an I.E.P. or 504 receive music in their class in the state of Texas.  This is no small feat, but I have never been one to shy away from a challenge.  For now, this is the best I can do:  give my son and his classmates the best music education money can't buy.  I am so excited and I will keep you updated with this new endeavor!

     Have a wonderful weekend, enjoy your life, but most of all, be present.  You never know what life has in store for you, but if you give it all you have, in the end, you will have no regrets.  I know I don't have any regrets when it comes to my professional or personal life.  Learn from your mistakes, grow from those mistakes so you don't do them again, and love yourself.  Be kind to one another, but most of all, enjoy the moment!

 

It's the End of the World! (Not really)

It's the End of the World!  (Not really)

     I have noticed recently that many people think it's the end of the world, simply because Ebola has hit our beloved Dallas, TX.  I have read multiple comments on Facebook that are very judgmental, condescending, flat out rude and incredibly stupid.  I pride myself on being an optimist, but I tell you, this Ebola scare had me just a little worried.  I am not going to lie; the media does a pretty darn good job of scaring people into believing something that should be recognized as news.  However, I try to read the facts, stick to the truth, and then move on with my daily life.  I have read so many comments over the years about vaccines causing autism, which to me, is a myth.  There is no scientific proof that vaccines cause autism-- this is one of my pet peeves.  People can read just a little snippet of "news" and then jump to the conclusion because it is reported by a "reputable" news outlet, such as CNN, Fox News, or CNBC.  I, for one, would like to challenge all news media outlets, including Facebook, to write one story about a boy who is the light of my life:  Cole.  I have been in contact with our local news, WFAA (Channel 8), for nearly two years now and they have wanted to do a story about Cole, how music changed his life, and how he found his voice through the Jersey Boys.  For once in my life, I would like to turn on the television and see my son singing "Walk Like a Man" with his best friends.  I am still waiting for the news crew to come out and video tape him and present his story as a human interest piece titled "Living with Autism and Succeeding in Life!".  

     I pray for the day (if it ever comes) that our news media can stop the wet media.  This term means (as told to me by Andrea Mitchell) the media presents the news in a way that grabs hold of you and can make you cry on any given day.  I swear when I turn on the television every morning, I immediately switch the channel to PBS or Nickelodeon (even before Cole gets up from school), if there is nothing news worthy in my book to start off my day right.  I know if I leave the channel on ABC, NBC, or even Fox, my day doesn't start great.  I get it that everyone is trying to be number one in the ratings.  I would love to see every day a human interest piece about something great someone has done.  I only read the newspaper on Sundays because I don't want to ruin my week by reading about killings, rapes, deaths or the latest war we are in.  Life can be difficult, but with a little help from positive forces of nature, we all would be in a better state of mind.  I lean on my faith in God, which helps me every day, even if it's just a simple task like doing laundry.  I pray that everyone in my life has great days, as their attitude rolls over into my life.  I am truly blessed by God that I have an extremely smiling and happy husband who always knows how to encourage me to be my best each and every day!  We pray every day, which I think, is something that always starts our day off right-- even if he is already at work.  I have a son that is the light of my life.  Cole brings me so much joy, that it is hard to stay in a bad mood when he is around.  I may be exhausted from having a crazy week (sleep is not my friend sometimes), but I never give in to not feeling good about my life.  I have learned so much by staying positive, leaning on God, and listening to my inner voice.  I have made personal decisions in my life that didn't always pay off, but I know living a life that pleases God is all that matters.

     I hope that by writing this blog, you take a little bit of sunshine from it!  I had a man tell me today that I was a ray of sunshine in his life.  I had no idea just a smile would make his day a happy one.  Remember, you never know what someone is going through.  A smile is free, but means so much to people.  I love my son, his teachers, but most of all, I love his contagious and positive personality.  Cole is simply amazing and I am blessed every day to call him my son!