The Small Victories: God is Always There

The Small Victories:  God is Always There

     By now, you know that I believe in God.  Cole believes in God, but he asked me yesterday, "Mom who is God?".  I tried to answer his question literally (God is someone who is always with us, in spirit, and loves us unconditionally).  I now realize Cole was asking me, why do we believe in God because I can't see Him.  Today when we were driving home from school, I told Cole God is always with us and that we are never alone.  The next response took me aback:  "Mom, then you are God.".  I was shocked that Cole compared me to God, simply because I am always with him.  I love our church, simply because they do a great job educating Cole about Jesus and God.  He attends a Sunday School specifically designed for kids and adults who have cognitive, physical, and learning differences.  This Sunday school has been my saving grace.  Cole's Sunday School teacher is amazing!  She is the head of special needs at our church and she is one of the few people that I have gone to when I need help with Cole.  There are certain people that come into your life for a reason.  Ashley is one of those rare people that understands what Cole needs.  Without Ashley, I wouldn't have the wealth of knowledge I now have.  She is a gift from God and I am blessed to call her my friend.

     Today, we finished Cole's transition A.R.D.  I call today a small victory, but an important victory, simply because I was able to use the law to get what I wanted for Cole's I.E.P. next year!  I trust my inner voice and sense of reason, but I am also careful about what I am signing when it comes to that very important document.  I have learned more about myself as an autism advocate in the past school year than I have in the seven years Cole has had an I.E.P.  I am very proud of myself for many reasons, simply because it is very hard to write that perfect I.E.P. and make sure it's being followed.  There are many roads a parent/guardian can take to make sure they have a great I.E.P., but unless it is followed, the I.E.P. is worthless.  I am an advocate for all students, but when it comes to Cole, I am his number one fan to make sure he is getting what he needs to thrive in and out of the classroom.  

     Cole's I.E.P. has always been my top priority when it comes to his education.  I was always bored when it came to "those teachers" who taught to the test.  The interesting teachers were those that taught outside of the box.  This is why Dr. Carol Reynolds and Professor Barbara Hill-Moore were always my favorite teachers at SMU, Meadows School of the Arts, because they are those "think outside of the box" professors.  I had a few teachers in elementary school, middle school, and high school that taught outside of the box.  These teachers (Lilli Grant, Arnold Young, Armelia King, Sharon Morgan, Betty Parrett, and Jack Mattingly) were simply amazing at what they did.  Looking back, I realize now why I loved  these teachers so much:  they didn't teach to the test.  They were forward thinkers and because of these great teachers, I feel I have taught my students to think outside the box.  A student like Cole needs a teacher who thinks outside the box, understands him like I do, but most of all, nurture what is inside that brilliant mind.  Nobody needs to be taught to the test.  I stand firm when I say I don't like to teach to the test.  That being said, this is one of the reasons I quit teaching in a classroom, simply because I had to teach what I was told to teach.  Who wants to be told what to do when it isn't fun?  I know I don't want to sit in a classroom, listen to a recorded tape or pound the piano to "Cantate Domino", simply because it was one of those assigned songs for All-District Choir Auditions.  This is a beautiful song, but after you have heard it literally over a thousand times, wouldn't you be bored with it?  I love music, but when it becomes repetitive to my students, I want to change it up a bit.  I can still recall one Friday taking a break from the assigned curriculum and letting my students listen to the type of music they liked!  This started fun Fridays and the best Conga line I have ever seen.  Why did they love Fridays?  I let them have a break from the mundane and boring lesson plans I had to use.  

     The reason I am calling this a small victory today is because I am still a bit pre-cautious when it comes to following Cole's I.E.P.  I trust the administration at Cole's middle school (where he will attend next year), but until I really get to know them and they know me, I always tread in the water for about two weeks, asking myself, "Did I do the right thing?  Should Cole be attending a Private School or is he really going to have F.A.P.E. (Free and APpropriate Education)?".  I ponder each year with this question:  Will Cole's I.E.P. be written to include as needed or do we go by the books and make sure he is doing everything to his possible abilities with help?  I want Cole to be independent.  I want Cole to graduate from high school, get a job, go to college if this is feasible (which I think is possible), get married, and have children.  I won't always be Cole's advocate.  He has the right to decide what role to take when he turns 18.  Can we (his parents) sit in his A.R.D. when he becomes an adult at 18, or will he ban us from this meeting?  I seriously doubt Cole would do this, but to make sure he knows his rights, we will be including Cole in his A.R.D.'s when he is in the ninth grade.

     As a parent and advocate, always be there for your child.  They need you.  However, don't limit your child into thinking they are not capable of doing much after high school.  Dream big for your kid.  Don't let those demons and nay-sayers creep into your mind.  We all worry about our kids.  The best advice I can give you is have the same dreams for ALL of your kids, because you never know what possibilities lie ahead for your child with a disability or not.  I am beyond blessed to have so many advocates and friends.  Do I know what I want to do with my life at age 40?  Maybe.  I never knew I would be a writer.  I never knew I would turn this journal into something bigger.  I always believed I was destined for greatness with my life, simply because my parents always believed in me.  I was never told by my parents, "You're stupid, you're ugly, you don't know what you are talking about.".  I was lucky to have parents that believed in me, no matter where I was in life.  Sometimes, you just have to pick yourself up, dust those doubts away, and listen to God.  I love the fact that I know God is always there for me, Cole, and my wonderful husband.  Without my faith and my trust in God, I know I would have limited Cole.  Don't limit your child, even if they can't verbalize what they need.  You are an amazing person, and if nobody has ever told you they love you, I do!  God loves everyone.  Happy Monday!