Bullying update
I have come to the conclusion that not all people have bad intentions. I am writing this post as an optimist. I am hopeful that the bullying issue NEVER comes up again at Cole's school. I brought the bullying up in my blog, simply because I felt helpless and was not getting any answer from the people I first asked at Cole's school. I sent eight emails and two certified letters to the chain of command. I never heard back from the Principal, only Cole's special education teacher when I was concerned. Cole's special education teacher was the only one that would answer my emails. Again, I am not writing this post as a pessimist, but I want to make sure everyone knows what I did in terms of follow up from last October's incident.
I am an advocate for all children, whether they have a learning difference or not. I was a former music/choir teacher in middle school and I saw what happened on a daily basis to students and teachers. Bullying is something that is talked about, but for some reason, I feel the bully is always granted the option of not getting punished. I know when I was in middle school I had two girls that called me ugly and told me my mom was going to die (she had stage 3 breast cancer and kicked it's butt!). I considered that bullying. Coach Armelia King, I felt, was the only one that took this seriously. She kicked them off the volleyball team and didn't allow them to join the basketball team. Coach King, is still to this day, my hero. I love her for doing this, simply because she knew how much I loved playing sports. I was a 7th and 8th grade starter on the volleyball and basketball teams. Due to my poor ankles, I didn't start my 8th grade year of softball, but was a starter my 7th grade. She didn't tolerate bullying. She is an amazing, no-nonsense lady and I admire her more than I could write on this page. She made me the 8th grade volleyball captain, which I am sure made my bullies mad, but I loved playing sports. I wasn't going to let two mean girls (and eventually four girls) ruin my passion for sports or music.
Cole's bullying was somewhat of a shock to me. Cole carries himself like he is the king of the world! He has SO many friends and they all love Cole. I think what happened is that the first incident happened because certain 6th grade boys are going through puberty. I assumed the incident happened in the boys' bathroom. It happened in a classroom-- I am not naming what classroom, simply because of privacy issues. I am beyond grateful for the teacher that witnessed what happened and told the Assistant Principal. This happened early on last year, so I didn't think it would have been pushed aside by the Principal. Turns out, the Assistant Principal had our back the entire time. She didn't know how upset and distraught I was over this, as I didn't let her know my feelings. I always emailed the Principal, as I was supposed to do. By now, you know I am not a fan of our Principal. I am beyond grateful the Assistant Principal took the time out this week to call in a number of 6th graders and asked them what they thought about Cole. There reply was this: "I love Cole. He's my best friend. I love Cole. Cole is my friend and I love him." You get the picture. Not one student had one bad thing to say about Cole. As a mom, I try to do my best to teach tolerance, love, and acceptance of all people. I think Cole has gone above and beyond my wildest expectations when it comes to unconditional love. Cole never realized he was being bullied, simply because he thought it was horse play. For that, I am grateful. What I am finally coming to grips with is that Cole is growing up, has a great self-image, and loves EVERYONE! I am still not too sure the one boy who called him an ugly name and popped him in the back of the head (like snapping), didn't do it. It is Cole's word against his, but I believe my son. Do I love my son's school? No. Do I love his friends? Beyond yes. The main reason we have never considered sending Cole to a school for special needs children is because he needs that socialization with his peers and friends. He LOVES his friends and we would never take that away from him.
Okay, so now I may be a pessimist here, but this is what is going to happen from now on. I am going directly to the source who calls me and ask for a report of what happened, if my son is ever bullied again. I am NOT GOING TO PUT UP WITH AN ADMINISTRATION WHO DOES NOTHING TO COMMUNICATE WITH ME OR MY HUSBAND. We are now aware that the bullying issue was handled in the utmost of confidence. Parents were called, punishment was given to the three boys who did this to Cole, but we were not aware of any of this until yesterday. I am forever grateful for the wonderful teachers that have come into Cole's life since Kindergarten. Cathy Hanson, Leslie Dominie, Yashekia Mitchell, Larry Owens, Allison Ausema, Amy Foxman, Sara Wheeler, Danielle Lawhorn, Mr. Dalone, Marcella, Christy, Sarah Krolcyck, William, Yolanda, Mr. Victor, and Kelly. These are all the teachers and aides in special education that we have had the pleasure of knowing through Merriman Park Elementary. They have enriched our lives and we wouldn't be where we are today without this amazing group of teachers. Coach Chris Brooks and Becca Bryan are also our unsung heroes of Merriman Park. As Forest Gump once said, "Life is Like a Box of Chocolates. You never know what you're going to get". These people were, and still are, a blessing to us every day. As far as an awesome administrator, Principal Laurie Taylor was one of a kind. We miss her. We love her. Without her, we had to endure a pretty messed up school year. However, that being said, I have learned a lot about Special Education law and what I continue to do for my son. Life is not easy, but with friends, family, and a loving God, I can do anything. I love my husband and I love my son with all of my heart. Without God giving me these two amazing men, I don't know where I would be today in my life. I thank God each and every day for giving me Cole and my husband.
Grace be to God, for He so loved the world, He gave us His only begotten Son, our Jesus Christ our Lord. Thank you, God, for giving us each and every day to live on Earth! Happy Easter!
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