Second Chances

Second Chances

     Have you ever regretted not following your heart and listening to your inner voice?  There are brief moments in my life that I look back on with fond memories and wished I had not said no.  One of those moments was an invitation to sing in Italy (Amalfi Coast) when I was 23 years old.  I turned this opportunity down because I didn't want to leave my family.  I will be 43 in March and a lot has changed in 20 years since this invitation was extended to me.  Do I have regrets turning this amazing opportunity down?  I regret not saying yes to this opportunity, but I also know in my heart I was not ready.  I feel now I am in my singing prime and can hear my inner voice speaking to me, "keep singing".  The main reason I have not sung professionally in many years is because I thought being Cole's mom came first, singing second.  Family has, and always will be, my number one priority.  Many people have asked me why I no longer sing professionally and my answer always has been family comes first.  I have never had regrets about putting my family first, because they are my life.  Music has, and always will be, a major part of my life, but it doesn't take care of you physical or mental well being.

     My mom was 43 years old when she was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer.  I won't lie; it was tough seeing her go through the fight of her life.  Chemotherapy was a bitch.  I remember waking up on a daily basis for two years to make sure she was still alive.  I lived at home until I was 24 years old because I had no desire to leave.  I could have lived in a dorm while a student at SMU, but I always came home because it was safe.  I loved my time as a student at Meadows School of the Arts, as it became my second family, but I also was a creature of habit.  I loved my home and I never wanted to leave the security of it.  Looking back, I am glad I didn't live in a dorm or an apartment because I needed to pass my classes!  A lot of my friends didn't graduate because they partied too hard.  I always give thanks to God for allowing me to attend SMU and have the comforts of home to study.  I would have never been able to pass music history (all 6 classes) if I hadn't had a quiet room and a stress-free study zone!
     I am going to be 43 years old in March 2017.  Why does this bother me?  I feel turning 43 is significant because this is the age my mom was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer.  I go to the doctor and have had mammograms since I was 33, but it still doesn't take away the worry.  I plan on partying like a rock star this year because you never know when it's your time to go.  You only get once chance at life.  I pray each and every day I live to see 100.  I pray for my husband each and every day he lives to see 105 (he's five years older than me).  I pray I continue to lead a life full of happiness, joy, and excitement!  Happy new year and have a wonderful 2017!