Gratefulness

Gratefulness

     I normally do not rant about people who are jerks, but this is my story and I am sticking to it.  How can we live in a world that gives us so much and not be grateful?  Have you ever walked in the shoes of a blind man, been homeless, hungry, or worry about being raped in a shelter?  I have never experienced any of these things, so I am always grateful to God for giving me a life full of hope, promise, understanding, and unconditional love.  I do, however, wonder about those that have experienced homelessness due an abusive situation.  I am one of the lucky ones.  I was able to get out of an abusive relationship and find God when I needed Him the most.  This is not a public service announcement, but more of a plea.  Please wake up, realize how good you have it, and thank God each and every day for Him giving us Jesus to take away the sins of the world.

     I rarely write about my past because I have never felt the urge to.  That being said, I found myself feeling sorry for myself the other day because Cole is an only child.  I always thought I would have 3 children, but I also knew I wouldn't have 3 children with my first husband.  Everyone has a story, so mine is one that needs to be told.  I was 20 year old college student when I met my first husband.  At first, he seemed wonderful.  He brought me roses, candy, took me out to nice places, and told me he loved me.  Once I was convinced he was the one, I said yes to his marriage proposal.  Little did anyone know after only two months of dating, the abuse started.  We dated for nearly four years before I said "I do".  I rarely put this out there, but I feel my story needs to be told.  I was mentally and physically abused, but I didn't know how to tell anyone because I thought it was love.  I was a senior in college when my life came to a halt, due the car wreck I had mentioned in an earlier blog post.

     Men and women, NEVER THINK IT'S OKAY TO HIDE THE ABUSE.  I had fooled myself into thinking I could handle it on my own.  I am extremely grateful for all that I have.  I may look like I have everything, but I truly had to find the courage to leave an abusive relationship and start again.  Yes, I had an amazing lawyer, but money does not buy happiness.  I only had my faith in the Lord to rely on during this horrendous time in my life because without Him, I knew I couldn't exist.  I have always loved God, but there are at times when I have strayed from His word.  You never know what someone else is going through, even if they appear to be happy.  I am alive and free because of the strength I found in Him.  I had an amazing support group of friends, but I also was blessed to have found a church home at Highland Park United Methodist Church.  They took me in and gave me my wings to fly.  David Davidson saw in me what I didn't:  the ability to sing for God, to witness God's word through music, as well as an unshakable faith.  I knew when I joined Highland Park UMC, I had found my home.

     I am grateful for David Carlock.  He is the one that invited me to his church, Highland Park UMC.  I am grateful for the Reverend Terry Jones, for he is the one that introduced me to my amazing husband, and married us at HPUMC!  I am eternally grateful for God giving me a chance at life again because I truly feel I am in the prime of my life, thanks to my belief in the written word.