Day two of this blog-- what am I doing?
Alright, so here it is the second day I am collecting my thoughts and wondering what I should write next. I find it strikingly funny and laughable (a word I am using every day now, as instructed by one of the many pastors from our church) that the font of every page says the word "normal". What exactly is normal? I only know my normal, which is so different than most people. I strongly believe looking back at my childhood, I was destined to be a star on Broadway and be famous. I would always sign my name as a young child (think six years old), Erika-- this name is going to be famous some day, on EVERYTHING! I had no idea what life had in store for me, but I was always fearless in everything I pursued. The reason I am delving into my childhood is because it gives you a clear picture of what kind of person I am today and how my childhood shaped me into the woman I have become.
Growing up in middle class suburbia, White Rock, in the heart of Dallas, TX, was my first taste of how "normal" wasn't normal. I loved to sing and fortunately for me, our counselor, the wonderful Virginia Conaval (not sure how to spell her last name!) at my elementary school, Lakewood Elementary, saw that I was talented enough to pursue music in and out of school. Ms. Conaval was a retired opera singer and saw something in me that nobody else did (besides me). I will be forever grateful for this amazing woman and showing me how to be strong, despite adversity. My friends were jealous of me that I landed the only female role in the musical at my school in sixth grade, so naturally I had to acquire a thick skin. I remember when I was in the fourth grade, I tried out for the talent show. Mrs. Conaval wanted me to dance for the talent show, because I was trained in Highland dancing (think Celtic dancing with black ballet shoes), and that was something that was so different and unique. I told her I would dance on one condition-- let me sing too! I remember getting up in front of my peers, singing a capella (no music-- just my voice for those of you who don't know what a capella means) the song "Tomorrow" from the musical, "Annie" and leaving everyone speechless. This song lead me to my first audition for the Dallas Summer Musicals of "Annie" at age 10. I tried out for "Annie", with every other 10 year old girl from Dallas, Fort Worth, and beyond. I made it to call backs (even the finals!), but didn't get picked. I hated rejection and blamed it on my tap shoes-- yes-- tap shoes! I had practiced for so long, literally I would wake up, eat breakfast, put on my tap shoes, and tap from morning until night, that I had multiple blisters on each foot. I had learned my lesson-- next audition I would refrain from practicing so hard! My family and I were on vacation in Estes Park, Colorado, when I found out I had made the show as an understudy, but it was too late to join the cast. The Dallas Summer Musicals had left me a message on our answering machine (remember this is 1984 when technology was basically obsolete), telling me that practice started for Annie and they needed me. I would sing all the way to Estes Park, dreaming of one day when I would make it to New York and be on Broadway. This was my first taste of reality in the entertainment industry and it sucked. I wouldn't make it to New York until I was 21.
The reason I am giving you my music history (just a glance) is because music is what gave my Cole a voice. Cole said a few words by the time he was two, but not many. Nanny Comp., my grandmother and most amazing woman I have ever known, swore Cole said "Halleluiah" at 3 months old! Nanny Comp was nearly 97 when she died, and my mom said if we (her grandkids) kept having babies she would have made it to 100. Cole and I would visit Nanny Comp everyday, and I miss her visits, her voice, and her optimism. She was my rock, but she was more than that-- she had been a part of my life, as well as Granddaddy, since I was born. Unfortunately Granddaddy Roy died in 1994, from complications of Alzheimer's. Cole is named after his maternal grandfather-- Cole Roy Warren. Roy Compton was an angel on Earth and I hated to see the disease, Alzheimer's, ravage his gentle soul and wonderful heart. My mom and I were the only ones he remembered, and I feel his presence everyday. I think Granddaddy's Alzheimer's disease was preparing me for Cole. Cole is a very sweet and loving child, but at times he can have his meltdowns-- who doesn't? Any terminal illness is terrible to witness, but I truly think Alzheimer's has, and always will be, my most hated illness. Trust me-- I have seen it all. My mom had stage three breast cancer when she was 43, my daddy had heart surgery when he was 52, and I was in a near fatal car wreck when I was just 23, so I have seen it all. Alzheimer's sucks, but so does Autism.
Cole's first word was shit. Yep I said it. Shit was his first word (age 2) because the vacuum cleaner had stopped working (think smoke coming out of it!), and this was the first word he said because my mom said it. Unfortunately, we both laughed and laughed because we knew it was his first word. Cole completely imitated my mom-- voice inflection and everything! I learned from that moment that I had to find things to connect with Cole. For two weeks, Cole would look at my mom and say this word. I have never been more grateful for the English language and how much we laughed over Cole's first word! Mom and Daddy were not words he uttered, so of course, this frustrated me; however, I was just happy he said something. A few more words came later-- Cole was four years old when he started to say "pizza, hamburger, Star Wars", but I knew in my heart there was something that was missing. Cole could manipulate a computer like nobody else (he helped me with my power point presentations when I returned to SMU), but he couldn't, or didn't, want to talk. I just chalked up Cole's non-verbal communication to my talking-- I spoke for both of us, and living in a household full of talkers, he could barely get a word in edge wise.
I pursued Cole's pediatrician as I became more worried about his progress by age 4. My divorce lawyer was four years old when he started talking, so I thought no big deal, Cole will talk when he's ready. Cole was never ready to talk. We went to Park Cities Language and Pathology Center and they didn't do us very much good. I thought we were going to have Dr. Elizabeth Wallace, but she was always booked. Nicole, I think that was her name, was Cole's speech therapist. Nicole didn't want to be there, as she had just moved from New Orleans and missed her boyfriend, so I knew I had to do something. Looking back, I wish I had known about PPCD in Richardson I.S.D., as this would have been the best fit for Cole. I was ignorant about programs for kids who have language and learning differences/disabilities in our school district, simply because it wasn't broadcast. I was a member of many organizations in R.I.S.D. and White Rock Elementary Early Childhood PTA, and they didn't tell me about PPCD until Cole attended White Rock Elementary in August 2007. I could have had a diagnosis of autism for Cole as early as three years old, but to my chagrin, he wasn't diagnosed "formal evaluation", until two days before his sixth birthday. The BEST ADVICE I can give anyone is to PURSUE what is right and find out the best fit for your child. You are their voice and advocate. I tell parents on a weekly, if not daily basis, to rally for their child because they know what is best. Cole was in the regular classroom in kindergarten for three months because he had to be evaluated by the school district. I am glad we had his evaluation done early, as it can take up to 90 days to determine placement. I was a single mom, with help from my very dedicated boyfriend (now husband), and the support of my parents; but that little voice that echoed in the back of my head kept me awake many nights. What was I going to do for Cole to make his life better? I took Cole with me when he was just three years old to Boston and New York City to experience life as I had-- traveling the U.S.A. was something I could give him and I did just that. He saw everything imaginable, but still no words, until one day-- "a tune popped into my head, I wrote down some dummy lyrics, and the world exploded". These are the words that changed my life and Cole's life.
"Jersey Boys" is a musical that was brought to life by Frankie Valli, Bob Gaudio, Tommy De Vito, and Nick Massey-- better known as "Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons". This musical hit Broadway in 2006 and swept the Tony Awards-- against some fierce competition. The Tony Awards is like the Super Bowl of music-- if you win a Tony Award, you have made it on Broadway. I am so grateful for this musical, the lyrics, and the music. "Jersey Boys" is what opened my eyes to what clicked with Cole. Cole researched John Lloyd Young (first Frankie Valli to win the Tony award) on YouTube and Cole's world exploded. Cole can tell you anything and everything about John Lloyd Young and ANY cast of "Jersey Boys". The reason this sticks in my mind so clearly is because these were the main words he said continuously on a daily basis. I bought the CD from the original "Jersey Boys" cast and bought Cole an adult's small t-shirt (he wore it as a nightshirt because he was only 5)! One morning as I was getting ready for work, I popped in the CD to wake Cole up. By the time I had gotten home-- 6 p.m., Cole had the ENTIRE CD memorized-- cuss words and all. This was my first taste of how to break through to Cole. Little did I know that this kid would have the voice of angel. Cole is now 12 years old, sings German, Spanish, and English because these are the languages that were translated to "Jersey Boys". Cole thinks he is going to be the next Frankie Valli in "Jersey Boys" and I am going to help him in any way I can get there. He is THAT GOOD. Cole has autism, but it doesn't stop him from what he loves: sing.
No comments:
Post a Comment