Is is really Saturday?

Is it really Saturday already?

This blog will jump around a lot-- just like my brain!  Today is Saturday, February 8th, 2014, and I have finally been able to sit down for the day.  Did I mention it is 9:30 p.m.?  I have noticed a pattern in my Saturdays lately:  wake up, head out the door for Zumba, get home in time to shower, then see what Cole needs.  I have the sweetest husband, who will remain nameless simply because he is a very private person, but let me re-iterate how beyond blessed and lucky I am to have him in my life.  You see, he knows that I love Zumba on Saturdays because it lets me be me-- wild and crazy in a somewhat normal setting.  I love my instructor, Brandi, because she has the most infectious personality and could turn any dance/song into something fun-- even if you were in the bathroom!  This part of my weekend really gets me started off right-- most of the time!  Charlie gives me those two hours to let me unwind and have time away from Cole.  Yes, I said it-- time away from Cole.  

I am not a pessimist-- for those of you who know me, you know I am quirky, funny, crazy, and simply take life as it comes!  However, I am human.  Cole is a great kid, but as any mom can attest to, we all need "our time" to unwind.  That time to unwind for me is Zumba.  Cole can be a handful and to escape his moodiness (and mine too!), I work out.  Last year, I think I overdid the working out because I came down with walking pneumonia and nodules-- the temporary death for a singer!  I have realized that I need to listen to my body more, so I have taken the exercising down a bit.  Yes, I have gained weight, but I am still in great shape!  The best thing a person can do for one's self, while caring for anyone, is to take care of themselves first.  I love Cole, but in order for me to be the best mom and wife, I slowed my pace down a little this year, because I was so tired.  I try to be superwoman and fix everything for everyone (including a handful of kids that love Cole), but my happy conclusion to my happy life is to just be me.  You only have one life, so live your life to it's fullest.  

Alright, so now as I digress about Cole's progress and how he is doing in 6th grade at age 12 is simply amazing.  He just said, "What happened?"  I know that if I reply back to him, he will say, "don't say I don't know".  I can get impatient with Cole when doing simple things (for me-- not him), like getting dressed, cleaning his room, taking a shower-- that's a HUGE one!, but I realize Cole is Cole and I am Erika.  He gets as frustrated at the computer (his number one love besides music) as I can get at times at Cole.  The one thing I have to remember is that Cole is just catching up with his speaking and talks a lot now.  This sound of Cole rattling off his "credits and funding for PBS kids", "host of Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve", or "5-4-3-2-1, Let's have a parade! (think Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade), makes me very happy.  I know this may sound weird to an average "normal" person, but it's music to my ears.

Now, I know I am not God, but I know there is One.  I put my faith in God everyday, which is how I get through each and every day.  I am not telling you how to live your life, but I know if I didn't pray to God, I would be in a much darker place.  I will admit I had to see a counselor for awhile, just to get my life back together and to make sure I was okay.  Seeing a therapist/counselor, isn't a bad thing.  I thought at first, it showed me that I was a weak individual who didn't know how to deal with life, but in the end, it was one of the best personal decisions I made-- it helped me realize I wasn't broken and that I was destined to marry my husband.  I am thankful for a job at that time that basically forced me into seeing a counselor, and out of this experience, it helped me realize my self-worth.  Cole has always been a blessing to me, but I never took time for myself to fix me.  Being in a tumultuous first marriage made me think I was a bad person, and that I didn't deserve to be loved.  I thank Susan for helping me realize that love was always there-- all I had to do was open my heart to the most amazing man, because he loved me and Cole.  We married on May 21, 2012, and I have never regretted this decision EVER!!!!!