Unexpected Change: Dedicated to Coach Armelia King
I would only assume change was bound to happen when entering a new and different school. However, the unexpected change for a child with autism can cause emotional turmoil and expected melt-downs. Obviously, since I am writing about this topic today, we experienced unexpected change yesterday in both of our lives. Cole had an emotional meltdown at his new school yesterday because of unexpected change. My meltdown would soon follow. I say this, simply because I am human. You can only prepare your child and yourself for change when you know it is coming. That being said, it is never easy when you think something is set in stone (a legal document, plus endless meetings this past year), and then it is completely wrong. I was flabbergasted (if this is even a word!) when I received Cole's schedule for middle school yesterday. Cole had a schedule that was full of general education classes, one Pre-AP math class, and eight different teachers. The big change, however, was when we were told that the special education teacher had left. They hired a new teacher yesterday and she didn't even have an email address, because she was that new! I was in utter shock; however after meeting with the new teacher and aides, I feel like she is a very good teacher, as well as the aides, who will nurture Cole and help him succeed in and out of the classroom. I know special education teachers leave the profession at alarming rates in Richardson I.S.D. (they have the second highest turn-over rate in the state of Texas), but we had no notice. For many parents and guardians, this won't bother them, simply because they are not an advocate for their child. I may be a helicopter parent, but we now have the correct classes, correct teachers, and a great school year set up for Cole. I feel I am always advocating for change, not just because of Cole, but for all students. School starts on Monday and I received a number of emails and phone calls within a 24 hour period, simply because I feel like I handled this situation professionally. I emailed, documented Cole's accommodations, and went back to school to make sure we were on the same page. By the time we showed up today at 2 p.m. (me, Cole, and my husband), I had received a phone call from the head of special education at Forest Meadow. She told me Cole's schedule had been changed and explained in detail why it looked so bad. Dr. Westone and the entire special education staff at Forest Meadow is phenomenal. They get it. They are going to take care of Cole and I am looking forward to this school year, simply because this change was needed (school).
I was not expecting what happened next: my hero, mentor, best coach, and second mom had died. She had gained her wings into heaven. I was at a loss for words, so this blog post today is dedicated to the woman who inspired me to be a middle school teacher. Coach Armelia King, as you have read, is the main reason I wanted to teach middle school. She was my protector, a leader, but most of all my voice when I was silenced. I knew she did not have much longer, as she was taken off hospice this past Wednesday. I really don't think it was a coincidence that I was with Cole and five of his best friends when I received the news. I couldn't sleep (which was okay because they stayed up until 4:30 a.m.!), I was a mess at the movies for about 15 minutes, but I held it together, simply because I didn't want them to see me crying. I am devastated by this loss, simply because another one of my family members is gone. Coach King was more than a Coach and teacher: she was my second mom when my mom was dying. Because of this woman, she helped me succeed in life, she gave me comfort when I needed it the most, and she always pushed me to be the best. Mamma was stubborn, always told us as a team what she expected out of us, and she never gave up on us. She was my friend and I am going to miss her terribly. Mamma was sick for the past few years and I have seen her suffer. I hate death, but when a person is sick and can't get better, I have always felt it is better for them to go to Heaven. I have loved and lost. My granddaddy died in 1994 and he suffered an entire year with Alzheimer's. I loved him so much, but when he got sick, it was time for him to meet God. Ten years later, his wife and my beloved Nanny Comp would join him. To me, death is a better alternative for those when they can't get better. These amazing, wonderful, and loving people are now in Heaven. I feel Heaven is a better place because of them. I have met some amazing people in my life, who are like family. However, these three people, along with Mattie Bess Pou, Dave Marr, Charlie and Mac Cullum, shaped me into the woman I am today. I miss all of these loved ones, and when my time comes, I hope I can leave a positive, lasting impression on others like they did on my life.
Coach King is like an idol to me. She scared me when I first met her! I remember entering the halls of J.L. Long Middle School and wondering who this intimidating woman was. She carried herself in a way that I had never seen: she looked me in the eye in my very first class, first period, 7th grade science, and asked me directly, "Young lady, why do you think your conversation is more important than mine? Please share with the class what you are talking about, because it seems you think your conversation is more important than mine." I had been called out already! I always have had a problem with talking in class, but this woman had called me out on the first day of school. To my horror, she was also going to be my very first volleyball coach (first sport of the school year). I showed up for practice, ready to play volleyball. She looked at me and said, "You really think you can play volleyball? Look around. You are one of three white girls. I know Nicole can play because she's my captain. You better show up. That's all I have to say." These words, along with her daughter, Dottie, inspired me to be the best volleyball player in 7th grade. I was the only 7th grade starter in every single sport, and I know it was because I was out to prove myself to Coach King. I made a name for myself at J.L. Long, simply because I wanted to be best at everything. I think my perseverance, hard work, determination, and pure grit is why Coach came to love me. Mamma loved all of her girls, but I feel I will always share that special bond with her, simply because she made me feel like one of her own.
Coach Armelia King should be celebrated! Her life was an inspiration to thousands of students in Dallas Independent School District. Celebrities like Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus, and even the owner of the Dallas Cowboys, Jerry Jones, should have met Coach. Coach would have shaped these terrible role models into something that is hard to come by: fame without wanting recognition. I try not to hate, but I feel celebrities should not earn money (millions of dollars) for just for being famous. Fame stinks. Teachers should receive millions of dollars for their countless hours trying to shape children and teaching young adults that contribute to society in a positive way. Teachers aren't paid crap. We have long hours, devote our time to our students, give them hope when they may not receive it at home, and we love our students unconditionally. I speak for the good teachers. Yes, there may be a few bad apples and teachers, but for the most part, teachers don't go into this profession seeking fame or fortune. At the end of the day, I can't turn my mind off school. I am not teaching in a school district, but when I did, I tried to love each student like my own. My family suffered because of the incredibly long hours, and I know I am not the only one that puts their students first, family second. This is what Coach Armelia King did for me. She put me first. She loved me unconditionally and gave me hope when my mom, Gwyn Kelley, had stage three breast cancer. I credit Coach King for saving me from this really hard time in my life. Twenty eight years later, my mom, Gwyn Kelley, is still here on Earth. I am so thankful that I had Coach King in my life for nearly thirty years. Coach King gave me a foundation that was stable, told me to stand up for what was right, and she pushed me to be the best in life. Her memory and legacy will live on through me until I die. Hug your family, tell them you love them, because you never know what each day brings.
I have had some okay teachers, good teachers, great teachers, and then those teachers that have left a mark on my life. Coach King, Jack Mattingly, Arnold Young, Lilli Grant, Buster Cooper, and Cynthia Bell were those teachers that inspired me to be a great person. They changed my life. Cynthia Bell is still here on Earth, but all these amazing teachers are in Heaven. Heaven is such a better place, simply because they are there. I am still in shock, saddened that I have lost my second mamma, but I am at peace knowing she earned her wings into Heaven yesterday. "I'll fly away old glory, I'll fly away. When I die, halleluiah by and by, I'll fly away." I love you Mamma and I am going to miss you so much.
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