6th Grade Graduation: Reality

6th Grade Graduation:  Reality

     We only have four days of school left and I, for one, am ready for this school year to be over!  I used to look forward to that last day of in-service as a teacher, but I now view the world differently as a mom of a student who has special needs.  I just finished reading a very good article about two boys that have a special bond.  Devin has autism and his best friend is Nick, who is his connection to the outside world (Nick doesn't have autism).  I started tearing up after reading this article, simply because it describes Cole's relationship with Archer.  Cole now has over 20 friends in the general education classroom, simply because he loves his friends.  This would not have been accomplished without a lot of work, patience, and love.  Archer and his family love Cole like he is their son.  They are special people.  Without this family, we would not have gotten this far in life (speaking, interacting, and having play dates with other kids).  I commend this family for opening their hearts and home to Cole and to my family.  We love them and can't wait to see what junior high school holds for them!

     I am tired, exhausted, and emotionally drained from this school year.  I didn't expect to be so tired, simply because I thought Cole would have a great school year.  We have been through a lot, but we are in the home stretch of seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.  I can say I was very confused about the beginning of the school year.  Cole didn't attend open house (like he has done since kindergarten) last summer because he was just getting over a very bad sinus infection-- borderline pneumonia.  In some ways, I don't know if it would have helped Cole's transition into sixth grade by going to open house.  Cole was very surprised by the change of the building and first asked me, "Mom, where is all of the artwork?  Why are we in a hospital?".  The building itself has been through a major makeover and it looked like a hospital-- which Cole hates.  The walls were white, there was no celebration board, but most of all, there was this coldness when you walked into Merriman Park Elementary.  Cole was confused, I was confused, and so were all of the other students and parents.  By now, if you have been reading my blog, change can be very challenging for kids who have autism.  This change was not good.  Cole didn't want to go to school, simply because he was scared.  He told me every day for the first two months, "Mom, I don't want to go to school.  I don't do anything and it feels like a hospital."  I did figure out he was telling me the truth about not doing anything.  He was wandering in the cafeteria the first four weeks of school for the first hour, because the other students in his class needed to eat breakfast.  Once I found this bit of information out, I demanded change.  Cole started his first hour of class the next day with his general education teacher.  

     The best advice I can give anyone is to be pro-active as a parent and advocate.  You know your child the best.  Don't question yourself, even if you are scared of authority.  I know a few people that don't stand up to administration, simply because they don't feel like they will be heard.  I know firsthand that if you don't stand up to the big man on campus, there won't be change.  You may not see that change immediately, but if parents came together for the common good of their child and demanded change, their voice will be heard.  There are so many people and families that have come to me to ask for help.  I am not a lawyer.  I am a mom on a mission to help ALL CHILDREN do their best in school.  Parents need to demand change for their child, if they see them suffering in school.  Bullying is becoming common-place, simply because of the internet.  I was horrified to hear that one of Cole's friends (who is in the general education classroom) was bullied-- and not just any type of bullying.  Kids have been told these exact words, "go ahead and kill yourself, simply because this world would be a better place without you in it".  Where are kids hearing this crap?  I have warned parents and advised them to keep an eye on their children's internet activity.  We live in a scary world, but when fifth and sixth graders are coming out with this garbage, I only wonder what is going on in junior high and high school.  I hate the fact that parents are not aware of what their kids are doing at school.  I have seen kids tormented at Cole's school this year.  Some kids are in tears, simply because of  mean words.  Kids can be cruel.  Sometimes those tears can be fake, simply because they want attention, but a lot of the time, it's real.  

     Talk to your children on a daily basis.  I was told that we should sit down with Cole everyday for at least fifteen minutes and ask him about his day.  I have done this for the last two years and he has opened up to me.  Cole is not a child with many words, simply because he has so much on his mind-- singing, playing Minecraft, and setting up our house like Times Square in New York City for the "ball drop".  However, I cherish those fifteen minutes with my son, simply because I know I will never be able to get them back.  He tells me things like, "How are you today mom?  How was your day?  Let's talk about you because I had an okay day".  Cole is really the most incredible kid, simply because he picks up on my mood, without missing a beat.  He knows when I am sad, happy, angry or frustrated.  He gets sad when I get sad.  He is happy most of the time, simply because I am a happy person.  His daddy is a happy person and always has a smile on his face!  We live in a cynical world, but I am fortunate enough to realize how blessed I am.  My son has autism.  Autism does not define Cole.  Cole, and many others who live with autism, have great lives.  Be a mentor to kid that looks like they need an extra hand.  Love everyone, even if they don't love you back.  I have tried to teach Cole and his friends that "all you need is love".  My son is my world and I am beyond blessed to have the most amazing husband who supports us in everything we do.  Find your voice, speak up, and don't be complacent.  We are now in a great place, simply because I have never given up on Cole.  We are excited about our new journey into middle school and can't wait to see what's in store for us!  Forest Meadow Junior High, watch out!  Cole Warren is going to change the world...............